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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Eating and then purging - January 18th 2014, 07:05 AM

My sleeping pills have decided that it is a great time to stop working and the decided that three days ago. I have been taking two pills when I'm only supposed to take one but a doctor said I could once in awhile but I have been doing it for the last 3 days. So today instead of taking two I'm just going to probably be staying up the whole night. I am on a diet and I'm actually eating it's not one of my fasting diets. I have the house to myself and I want to eat whatever I find that I like then purge after I wouldn't call it binge and purging but I don't know. I just really want to eat and then obviously I'm going to purge after.


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Re: Eating and then purging - January 18th 2014, 09:58 AM

Eating things that you're forbidding yourself and then throwing up does count as binging and purging in my books. Do you usually have anything that helps you cope with that?

What kind of diet are you on? Even if it's not a fasting one, it may not be giving your body all it needs to function and may have to be adjusted by your doctor.
   
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Re: Eating and then purging - January 19th 2014, 01:58 AM

I'm on a diet my personal trainer put me on. I'm not stupid I refuse to go to the doctors and have them put me on a very high calorie diet. My diet is less than what a normal calorie diet should be and I'm loosing a lot of weight. I hate eating the only reason I'm on a regular diet and not my diet of only eating one meal a day is because I promised my grandma I would eat. But I never promised her I wouldn't purge because she doesn't know I do that on occasion.

I didn't forbid myself to eat food my diet is strict so it restricts for me there for it is just eating and purging. I don't binge.


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Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
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Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: Eating and then purging - January 19th 2014, 10:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*~Warrior~*~ View Post
I'm on a diet my personal trainer put me on. I'm not stupid I refuse to go to the doctors and have them put me on a very high calorie diet.
I don't think you're stupid. Doctors do NOT put you on a very high calorie diet. A nutritionist (a doctor who specializes in diet requirements) will give you a diet that is healthy for you. More calories aren't necessarily healthy. They'll give you just the amount of calories your body and your mind need in order to function. The actual amount depends on your lifestyle and metabolism but for most people it's actually really low, compare it for example with the diet of an olympic athlete which has much higher calories.

Depending on your personal trainer's qualifications I wouldn't necessarily trust them with it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*~Warrior~*~ View Post

My diet is less than what a normal calorie diet should be and I'm loosing a lot of weight.
Again, it's a myth that calories make you fat. Calories don't make you fat. That only happens if you're ingesting more calories than you need. By "need" I don't mean what you emotionally feel you need, I mean it scientifically-speaking.

It doesn't matter if your calorie intake is higher, lower, or "normal". There is no actual normal, it depends on the person's body. If you're becoming underweight due to not ingesting enough calories that isn't healthy either. It may seem fine now but it can cause lots of problems.

Most importantly, you should be getting the amount of nutrients that you need so the cells in your body can function.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*~Warrior~*~ View Post

I hate eating the only reason I'm on a regular diet and not my diet of only eating one meal a day is because I promised my grandma I would eat. But I never promised her I wouldn't purge because she doesn't know I do that on occasion.

I didn't forbid myself to eat food my diet is strict so it restricts for me there for it is just eating and purging. I don't binge.
I really, really recommend seeing a professional -- a doctor, a therapist, or a counsellor -- for this, to address your hatred of eating. In the long run this isn't good for your physical health, as purging can cause lots of digestive problems and ruin your teeth.

Also, when I said that it was binging, I was referring to this part of your initial post:

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*~Warrior~*~ View Post

I want to eat whatever I find
Please stay safe and take care of yourself. I also recommend talking to your grandmother if you can and being honest about everything. It sounds like she's someone you care about and who supports you, so that might help.
   
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Re: Eating and then purging - January 20th 2014, 03:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*~Warrior~*~ View Post
I'm on a diet my personal trainer put me on. I'm not stupid I refuse to go to the doctors and have them put me on a very high calorie diet. My diet is less than what a normal calorie diet should be and I'm loosing a lot of weight. I hate eating the only reason I'm on a regular diet and not my diet of only eating one meal a day is because I promised my grandma I would eat. But I never promised her I wouldn't purge because she doesn't know I do that on occasion.

I didn't forbid myself to eat food my diet is strict so it restricts for me there for it is just eating and purging. I don't binge.
Doctors won't put you on a high calorie diet! I was helped a lot by my doctor to figure out what a healthy amount to eat was... It helps to have that kind of encouragement cause I find a lot of personal trainer types won't stop you from eating to little.


Ok, I'm going to tell you what I went through, because I feel like my experience is "sort of" similar and it's going to help me build to my point: I hope you can get something out of it.

I used to go to this gym where I was told "don't eat this, don't eat that, eat all your meals like this, have all your snacks like that" -- it only ended up making me feel worse, I felt like I couldn't eat things I liked (ex. pasta, fruit, tea) because it was "bad" for me even when in moderation it was all healthy stuff I wanted so it was stupid I was being made to feel that way by people who were supposed to be "helping" me, but I never said so because there is one person out of all the people I know in real life who knows how I struggle and I only told her about a month ago--I wasn't going to tell the people at the gym why it was so bad for me even if I knew how to put words to my struggles back then. All they wanted was for me to get fast results and it wasn't helping me make the practical and long term healthy changes I needed to help with my weight loss and simultaneously to help with some of the unhealthy attitudes I had towards food--in fact I'd say it only made things worse for me when I felt like I couldn't eat even the healthy things I wanted to have because supposedly it was bad for me if I ever wanted to lose weight

When things finally got better it was by listening to my nutritionist, who helped me make small manageable goals. This really helped me: I started losing a lot of weight (I was actually truly overweight though, and still am by a little bit) and I was eating and exercising the right ways and doing it enough etc etc... The problem was that I got this app on my phone which allowed me to track my food and exercise and weight. I still use this app, it in itself is ok, but the amount of weight I was trying to lose had me eating way to little, so I'd end up binging--then feel horrible and terrible. If I ate the wrong thing I'd feel nasty and disgusting, I'd want to puke and the only thing stopping me was an irrational disgust of vomit, a few times I couldn't calm those thoughts so I'd take out the need to purge on my exercising. After about 4 or 5 months my body started rebelling against that, I think mentally and physically I couldn't take it any more so I ended up on this plateau, I kept saying "I'll get back on track, I'll get back on track", but I never did, I still had a lot of feelings of guilt and sometimes felt disgusting or wanting to purge but they weren't as all consuming as they had been previously.

It helped when I started listening to my doctor who told me that it was ok to eat X amount of calories (which was not very high all things considered, but higher than I was trying to eat earlier on). I felt ok about that, I could see it was still helping me reach my weight loss goals without feeling hungry and thinking about food all the time (which, as I explained, would only lead to my binging and feeling nasty and gross and fat etc. and possibly wanting to purge).

I think that personal trainers are great people. But I think sometimes they can contribute in the wrong ways (I had another trainer who was much better, she gave me a few healthy eating suggestions but mainly focused on my exercising, she didn't tell me to do anything crazy in my eating habits--the previous trainer did though).... I think it's useful to understand you can eat more and it wont be a big deal: eat what you're truly hungry for, for example.

Another thing I found was helpful was not to consider what I am trying to accomplish as a "diet", that, to me, implies a temporary state of being, that eventually you'll change X and Y habits when you reach your goal. And for me, considering how I struggled, I found such things to be harmful because it allowed me to control my food and exercise in ways I shouldn't and it let me justify it as "well, it's the only way to lose weight".... A better approach might be to make long term goals, like finding the "right" amount to eat, the right foods to eat, and finding a way to control your food and exercise in a way that isn't going to be detrimental to your health (by binging, purging, starving, what ever your "method" is). Focusing on changes that you can sustain will be a lot better.

Your doctor isn't going to tell you to eat more than what's healthy for your size--it's not like his/her mission in life is to make you fat, know what I mean. So I'd say listen to what they have to say, tell your trainer that you feel like you're not getting to eat enough and would like to change to something less drastic, and then get a nutritionist and explain how you have been dealing with an ED and need to figure out how to reach X goals and get a handle on how your feeling. Thats my personally suggestion.

Good luck




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