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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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YoungK9 Offline
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Worried about her - February 19th 2014, 12:32 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

***May be triggering to some people**

So I am getting worried about one of my friends, maybe I'm overacting, maybe it's normal... but this is starting to worry me.

One of my friends, who I always seem to have lunch with, is eating much at all. She always tells me, "I'm not hungry", which is what she usually tells. She has been saying this for almost a month. She gets nachos, but the bags of chips is mostly air, it's almost like a balloon(there is probably less then 20 chips in the bag). She'll get other things, but will just throw them away, which I don't know why she wastes money on the food.Plus she occasionally won't even finish that one item she got.

She is not overweight, she has always been naturally curvy. But she is so desperate to skinny.

Whenever she eats, she says. "I'm not fat", or says shes fat when she eats food.

Before,she use to LOVE eating, she would a lot food,would love eating, & never said she was fat when she ate. She would eat three to four items at lunch everyday.


   
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Re: Worried about her - February 19th 2014, 12:47 AM

Hey there,

I think it's really admirable that you're worried about your friend. She is lucky to have a friend that cares so much about her. I don't think that you're overreacting at all. You know your friend well, and if there's a change in her behavior like this then it's understandable that you would be concerned.

There's not really any way for you to determine whether or not this is a real problem based on the information you gave. There could be a number of explanations for your friends behavior, so there's no way to know for sure what's going on unless you talk to her about it. I think that you should approach your friend, whether it's at school or sometime when you're hanging out with her, and tell her that her change in eating habits has you a little bit concerned and you want to make sure that everything's okay. While there's no guarantee that she's going to be completely honest about it, hopefully she'll open up to you and be truthful about what's going on.

If you do find out that she's struggling with an eating disorder then you should urge her to tell her parents or someone that she trusts so that she can get some help for what she's going through. And if there's ever a time that you're extremely concerned and feel that she's in danger of hurting herself then you should take matters into your own hands and let someone know, like a counselor at school or her parents.

There's also the chance that nothing serious is going on, and hopefully that's the case. Either way, though, I'm sure your friend would really appreciate the care and concern that you have for her. You sound like a really great friend. I hope everything works out well for the both of you


   
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Re: Worried about her - February 19th 2014, 01:19 AM

Thanks, I have tried many times, asking her why, & talking to her. I asked her at school, & she said that I should text her. I did. But, now when we are texting she keeps saying, it's because she isn't hungry. She then has other excuses too.


   
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Re: Worried about her - February 19th 2014, 01:21 AM

Hiya!

I'm going to start off by saying that you're a great friend . Friends look out for each other and you are doing just that. One thing that you should do is stick by her side. If it is an eating disorder or if it's not, she still would benefit from your support . But I'm sure that won't be a problem .

I actually have a friend like this as well. She never eats much, has a habit of counting calories, and always talks about her weight (and she is clearly at a healthy weight). This may lead me to certain conclusions, but I can't be sure. Only professionals can diagnose her. If you are concerned for your friend's health and safety, I would definitely approach her. I wouldn't jump to saying anything about an eating disorder at the moment, but I would offer your support.

If you find out more and suspect an eating disorder, talk to a trusted adult. It would also be a good idea for your friend to get help in this case. A professional can diagnose her and start her on a treatment plan . Counsellors and therapists are great options! She deserves support through whatever she is going through, so if she is struggling (with or without an eating disorder) you should recommend for her to reach out to an adult she trusts.

I hope everything is okay with your friend . Take care!


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Re: Worried about her - February 19th 2014, 05:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YoungK9 View Post
Thanks, I have tried many times, asking her why, & talking to her. I asked her at school, & she said that I should text her. I did. But, now when we are texting she keeps saying, it's because she isn't hungry. She then has other excuses too.
I think the best you can do is just make sure she knows that you're there for her. She could be telling you the truth, and there might not be anything to be concerned about. But if she is being dishonest hopefully she will open up about it eventually. Just continue being her friend and being there for her. Having a good friend who really cares about you is always beneficial, whether you're struggling in life or not.


   
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Re: Worried about her - February 24th 2014, 11:20 PM


Thanks everyone! I have a little update, so this might be helpful.

So, today she told me that, last night, she jumped the scale. She was extremely disappointed in that she didn't lose any weight. She told me, to my face. That she isn't going to eat much. She told me "I am probably going to eat very little now"

Calliope I love your avatar


   
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Re: Worried about her - February 25th 2014, 12:05 AM

In response to the update: It's important for your friend to understand how deceiving a scale could be, and how much one's weight can fluctuate.

Have you tried offering to work out with her? Having a gym buddy is an amazing way to get motivated and lose weight - the healthy way. If you exercise properly, and accompany that with a healthy diet, you will see results fairly quickly. Offer to start going to the gym with her regularly. It's fun, I promise.

With regards to nutrition, it's really important that you emphasize how vital eating is. If you don't eat and you only consume a small amount of calories, your body will go into a state of panic because it fears that you're trying to starve yourself. If the body is in this state, it will hold onto every last bit of food that you eat - just in case it doesn't get fed for another long while. Therefore, in the long-run, eating a very small amount of food will do more harm than good, and will cause you to gain more weight.

Eating at a caloric deficit is important for losing weight, but you still need calories to function. For instance, if your body needs 2,000 calories in order to maintain its current weight, eating 1,500 calories per day is still healthy and will inevitably allow you to lose weight - even without exercising. I would recommend counting calories and macros, but I don't think this should be introduced to your friend just yet. I feel like she needs to get over her current issue of not eating at all, which could require professional help.

Perhaps you can reach out to an adult that you feel comfortable talking to. Sometimes these people can offer you valuable insights and opinions that can really help you with your current situation. Tell your friend that it is possible to lose weight, but she must do it in a healthy way. If she doesn't, she can become extremely ill and usually, these "lose weight fast" things don't last and you end up gaining even more weight.

Good luck.


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