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baccanogal Offline
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Mum wants me to diet - January 11th 2015, 10:56 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hi everyone, this is my first time using this forum so I'm a little nervous but oh well

I'm not obese, by any means. True, I'm not as healthy as I could be, but you wouldn't look at me twice, I'll put it that way. I have a naturally slow metabolism, which means that I have to eat less than the average girl my age to not be obese, but I'm still not at an optimal weight, which I understand, and I am trying very hard to SAFELY lose a bit of weight. However, my mother, who is skinny but doesn't think she is, wants me to do the 5:2 diet with her (partly because she says it will make it easier for her to do, which is very selfish if you ask me). I looked it up online, and nobody thinks it is safe for a teenager to fast two days a week, and it's pretty much impossible for me to do that anyway because I can't diet whilst I'm at school (teachers would notice and so would bullies, and my friends tell me I don't eat enough as it is). I want to bring all of this up to my mum, but I'm worried that she'll get angry at me for 'challenging her parenting skills' as she'll most likely put it.

Any advice?

Last edited by Kindred; January 11th 2015 at 04:42 PM. Reason: Added a triggering label! :)
   
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Re: Mum wants me to diet - January 11th 2015, 11:21 AM

Hey - welcome to the forums! If you have any queries about the site, please don't hesitate to ask me or one of our staff Buddies.

I definitely think you're right on this, although that obviously gives you a bit of a predicament with your mum. Of course aiming for a healthy weight is what you should be doing, but like you say, it must be safely and in a way that works for you. Especially with school where it's really important to eat enough to allow you to concentrate, a 5:2 doesn't seem a good option.

What I'd recommend, because it means you'll get the best advice on being as healthy as you possibly can be and it should avoid upsetting your mum, is asking to see your GP and discuss it. You can ask your mum to get you an appointment and go with you so she feels involved in the decisions that are made, but the GP - who is a medical professional and will know what's best for you, especially where being well enough to learn is concerned - will be able to give the ideas that you use. The advantage of this is that your mum can't really contradict the GP so you'll get to stay healthy.

Best wishes, I hope this helps!


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Re: Mum wants me to diet - January 11th 2015, 03:10 PM

Hey,

I think you're absolutely right- it's not healthy for you to participate, it's not actually healthy for anyone to fast really, but much less a growing teenager.

Your health comes before your mother's diet. I know it's not uncommon for mother's and daughters to diet together, as moms tend to want company or whatever, but this isn't healthy for either party unless the lifestyle changes are healthy. I know you're scared of hurting her feelings, but if you just point out to her that you've researched it and it's not healthy, hopefully she should understand and drop it. If not, talking to another family member and getting them to speak to her could do the trick. Alternatively, asking for you both to see a doctor to discuss healthy ways of losing weight, as Adam suggested is something else you could do. There's nothing wrong with both of you making the decision to eat healthily and exercise more! Fad diets aren't the way to go though, and they often only lead to a little bit of temporary weight loss.

Be safe,

Laura



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Re: Mum wants me to diet - January 11th 2015, 08:05 PM

To add what Adam and Laura had said, and your doctor will likely agree, it is unhealthy to lose weight in a short amount of time. If you need to lose weight because of health problems it is quite different than choosing a diet that sounds like you'll drop pounds quick (or claims to do so). I'm glad you can see through what is going on and I hope your mother understands and decides not to go through with it either.
   
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Re: Mum wants me to diet - January 11th 2015, 09:37 PM

No, no, and no.

Going into a fasting diet only encourages ignoring your body's signals. Think about it: If you can deal with the pain of being underfed, then you can deal better with the pain of overeating, too. You stop thinking about making your body feel good, and you start ruling over your stomach with your mind. That sounds nice and fine, but for those of us who don't have the willpower of Gandhi, it's just not sustainable. Plus, doing diets with your mother... It's not a good thing. If she's expecting you to keep each other on the wagon, so to speak, then you'll be snapping at each other's throats when it comes time to fend her away from the sweets. Take it from a person who's tried to help her mother stop eating donuts. Trust me: The willpower to stop eating donuts has got to come from within.

My recommendation? Absolutely do not do this. It'll strain your relationship with your mother, make your body wacky, and make your mind even wackier. And that, my friend, will sabotage your efforts to lose weight, especially if you're a person who eats when she's stressed.

As for the slow metabolism thing? Building muscle will help counteract that. The more muscle you have, the more your body needs in order to sustain your muscle. Just a suggestion.

Good luck, and stay far away from the wackiness.


ANNA
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"The most notorious ill-fortune must, in the end, yield to the untiring courage of philosophy - as the most stubborn city to the ceaseless vigilance of the enemy." - Edgar Allan Poe

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