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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Towers Offline
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Uhm... - March 10th 2015, 12:07 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Alright, so I feel like I've been asking for too much help... So I apologize.

Not sure if this is triggering or not, so I added it to be safe out of concern for others. Sorry if I broke a rule or something.

Here's the deal. I went to my sort-of boyfriend's house (I'll just call him A), binged, and purged. I didn't realize how paper-thin the walls were there. A's step-mother apparently heard and asked him if I was okay. That was last week. I went over again and basically the same thing happened. She went straight in there to clean up (even though I did clean after myself). I didn't know she knew at this point until he told me. She had a discussion with him and she said A needed to convince me I need "help." I really didn't intend for anyone to find out, really... and it really sucks that they know. I'm fairly certain that the entire household knows. His step-mom confided in him and she said she had an eating disorder for eight years and doesn't want me to do the same. It's really awkward now because I've only spoken to her, like, three times ever. I kind of maybe thought she knew something was up, but no... she knows. Entirely. And that scares me a lot. Also, I feel really bad that she had to clean the bathroom. I mean, it was clean after, but I feel really bad and ashamed.

I'm not asking how to hide it better, but rather, what should I do about this? My dad even asked why I've been exercising so much lately (which isn't a lot, but more than I was before, which was not that much). I don't want people worrying. I'm not at my target weight yet although I did hit my lowest weight ever today. I was really proud of myself but it's not really enough. I actually said I'd stop at a certain weight which I basically hit today, but I'm not sure anymore. I'm totally pre-occupied with food, weight, eating, and so on. I can't even pay attention in lectures much anymore because it's literally almost all I think about. It really makes me upset and everything but at the same time, I'm kind of proud of myself. It's a lot easier than I thought it would be... In high school, I kind of had thoughts similar to these but it was never anything serious. It's different this time.

I don't know what to think. Common sense tells me what I'm doing is not healthy because I'm severely restricting my food intake... my body is numb all the time now and I'm getting mentally foggy. I look like crap all the time now. When I looked into he mirror at school today, below my eyes were super red and baggy. Not only physically, but I know emotionally, this can become something quite damaging. I like to think I have it under complete control but I don't know. How do I know when to call it quits? And what if I can't quit? Because as it stands, I'm not thin enough and I'm not even close. A told me I'm close to being "skin and bones," but I feel like I have so much more to go. I'm so confused. Please help. I'd really appreciate it.
   
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Re: Uhm... - March 12th 2015, 07:33 PM

Hey there,

don't worry, there is no such thing as asking for too much help. It's ok to ask and we are all happy to be able to help you!

I can only imagine how scary it must be for someone else to know of this.
Though from what you wrote it seems like she may be someone you could confide in and who will be able to support you, if you ever need the help.
Don't feel bad over the bathroom. It happened and you can't change it anymore. I know it's hard but just try to let it go, because I'm sure noone holds it against you.

Well about when to call it quits.... I think your common sense is right. You have gone far enough. You said it yourself. You hit your target. I'm quite sure, you choose that target for a reason. Try to stay there. Don't go lower or higher. Just try to stay there for the moment. That in itself is hard enough. And if you can't do that, like, if you have to go lower, then I think it would be best to seek advice, 'cause if you keep going lower and lower it will never be enough.
Maybe you could talk with A's mom or A himself? They already know what's going on and they don't seem to hold it against you so they might be able to give you some good advice and help you.
You could also try to talk to your father, someone at school, a friend, anyone you trust. Of course you can always ask us as well.

I hope this helped a little.
You can always pm me, if you want to talk to someone.
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Re: Uhm... - March 12th 2015, 09:58 PM

First thing, there's no such thing as asking for too much help, it's what we're here for

What you do next is really up to you, but here is my two cents: I don't know how long you've been struggling with this, but people are starting to notice and you also seem to see and understand the effects it's having on your life. This might be a good time to consider seeking help. I know part of you doesn't want to, but here's the thing: This is part of how eating disorders work. They convince you that you don't need help to get rid of them and that as long as no one knows or finds out, then you're doing okay. Keeping it from people will only make it's hold on you stronger. It will give you every excuse in the book not to stop and the longer it goes on for, the stronger a hold it has on you, and the sicker you get. I'm not saying you have to announce it to the whole world, but confiding in someone about what's going on, as hard as it is will help.

I know you don't want people to worry, but if they're asking questions, chances are they're already concerned. People who care about you worry and it's because they want you to take care of yourself. It's not easy to admit this but, sometimes the hardest things are what's best for us. If people are asking you questions about it, that may make it a little easier because it gives you an opening. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.

And I know you said you're not at your target weight yet, but if you're going about getting to it in an unhealthy way, then getting to it may not be the best thing for you. Also, the fact that you say you've hit it and now you're not sure it's low enough tells me that this is really starting to get a hold on you.

I want you to feel proud of yourself, but there are so many other, healthier things to be proud of about yourself. Maybe reaching out for help will allow you to find them.


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Re: Uhm... - March 19th 2015, 08:38 PM

Hey c:


I don't quite have a lot of experience with eating disorders, but I'll try to help you.


First, never ever be afraid to ask for help c: We're all here to love and support you, and you deserve it sweetheart.

Second, it must really be frightening to have someone know about what you are doing through without having you tell them. But, maybe she knows for a reason. Maybe it's a sign that you should get help, or at least tell someone you trust, like a friend, or maybe a school counselor. Even your parents, if you feel comfortable telling them. Remember that people are here for you, and love and care about you to death. Don't forget to get the help you deserve. It's up to you if you want to tell someone, but if I were a friend/parent andd I knew someone was going through this, I would want to help them as much as possible. c:

Stay strong, remember you're loved, and you always will be <3 I'll always be here if you need someone to talk to, just pm me c:
   
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Re: Uhm... - March 23rd 2015, 02:12 AM

I pretty much agree with what everyone else is saying. These types of behaviors are not really good. So your common sense is telling you the truth. Your common sense is telling you that this isn't right and good. You may think these types of behaviors are a great thing, but they are very bad things. The further you keep going with these types of behaviors, the worse you are going to get and the more damage you are causing to your body. I am glad you are realizing that these behaviors of restricting and overexercising are dangerous.

Are you currently seeing a therapist/counselor? If not, it may be something for you to do.

In the meantime, try incorporating a healthy diet and exercise plan into your daily life.




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