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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
i_am_me_again Offline
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Unhappy OCD Is Stopping Me Eating - January 6th 2009, 02:07 PM

I have symptons of OCD (Not my most recent D/X), its now getting to a point where its affected my eating. I cant eat. Im hungry, but I just dont want to eat & mentally & physicaly I cant eat. Its like I want to eat something, but if I do, then I will feel so guilty & horrid. This has been going on 4 about 2 weeks, It started off cutting down on chocolate & now its just I cant eat anything & the thought of food in me, makes me cringe & feel disgusting.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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January 6th 2009, 02:12 PM

What is your OCD, if you don't mind me asking? By that I mean what is you have to obsessively do or think? Are you ok drinking things? It sound like you want to eat but the OCD is stopping you, so you must understand how important it is you do something about this.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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January 6th 2009, 02:16 PM

My OCD is not serious, I was D/X before I went into hospital. It affects the way I think. For example, If I eat food, Ill get fat, so therefore I cant eat food. Even though Im hungry I will have this fear that I will get bigger. The only way to stop my feeling like I need to get slim is to stop eating, but I dont want to stop eating, I just feel that I cant...like there is something blocked me from eating, do you get what Im trying to explain?


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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January 6th 2009, 02:19 PM

Hi there, sorry things are so difficult for you right now, it must be hard at the moment. It's good that you've been able to recognise that things aren't right and therefore somehthing should be changed.
Have you spoken or seen anyone about your symptoms of OCD? It really is important that you see a doctor about this and they will be able to do what they think is neccisary for you.
I understanjd that this might be a scary concept, and it is easier said than done but it's really important that you take control of this again.
You don't deserve to have to struggle with this on your own. Perhaps if you can't see a doctor about this you could talk to a friend or close family memeber?
Take care.


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January 6th 2009, 02:21 PM

Hi there!
Have you been officially diagnosed with OCD? I can understand how you must feel as I too, possess symptoms of OCD but i have yet to be officially diagnosed as i am a rather reluctant person.
But i can relate to you and know just how awful it is when you feel as though OC behaviour is controlling you.

What has led to you feeling this way about food? Are you sure it is just your OCD and not something else, perhaps a negative comment someone has said to you about your body-image? Or perhaps just you in general feeling negative towards your body-image? Or maybe it's a combination of things!

I think, to be fair, that you have just let a diet get a little too far, in my opinion. As you said it started off with you just cutting out chocolate. It is never good to completely eliminate one food group, but to eliminate ALL - you're going to be missing out on everything your body needs in order to survive! All of those nutrients are missing from your body and will continue to be if you don't try and convince yourself to eat again.
I know it's easier said than done, but think about it? Do you really want your body to go into 'system shut-down', meaning...your body will start eating tissues, fat, and muscle if it doesn't get some food inside it soon!

Please talk to someone, a counsellor, trusted friend, parent? Let them know that you are struggling with OCD and eating issues, do not let them find out for themselves if and when something bad happens to you. I'm not saying it will, but trust me, it'll be alarming for them to find you have fainted from lack of nutrients.

You're not alone okay? Please remember that!

Take care <3 x
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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January 6th 2009, 02:25 PM

Yes hun, I understand what your saying. I studied OCD extensively at college. The fact you want to eat but your OCD won't let you is positive though, as you recognise that you are hungry and need to do something. I remember when I was studying this that people found shakes helpful, you know the diet shakes that are healthy and full of vitamins? They aren't ideal and won't keep you going for long but at least its a bit of sustenance inside you. As a long term fix though, you are going to have to talk to someone and get help. This is only going to get worse otherwise. Like you say, you want to eat but can't so the more hungry you get and the more desperate you are to eat isn't going to make a difference. Talk to a doctor, its their job to help and they know a hell of a lot more than I do! Take care x
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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January 6th 2009, 02:29 PM

I was diagnosed with OCD (& ADHD) when I was 14. It was very bad then, I wont go into what is was like, but I was in a state & couldnt function at school properly or anything. (Since been D/X with Schizoaffective Disorder & Borderline PD)

Anyway...


.....No-one has said anything to me, & Im actually fine, Im not a big big person, just slighlty overweight, but I just have this problem where if I eat I will feel fat & g uilty & depressed. The other day I ate nothing & physically felt aweful but mentally I was completely overjoyed! Because I had avoided being a failure & avoided eating...If I eat, I fail. Its not just in my head, its my body as well. Just like someone with OCD would wash their hands, I avoid food, like avoiding food is my obsession.


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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January 6th 2009, 02:45 PM

I completely understand what you're saying. I have the whole 'washing hands' thing - and some other stuff which you probably don't need to hear me go into, but it's certainly the same sort of concept. It's something beyond our control, and it's awful to say the least.

Who do you have that you can talk to, on a regular basis? Someone that'll talk things through with you, help you come to the route cause of this, and who will help you through this? I know what you mean when you say, you "feel fat", because if i don't wash my hands, i "feel dirty" so i can relate to you on that level, even though our problems are different.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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January 6th 2009, 02:57 PM

I live with a support worker, but I cant really talk to anybody, I got enough 'psychotic' problems going on to add in a 'neurotic' problem.
What is happeneing to me regarding eating is going to have to be a battle with me & me only.
If I told my parents...shit...dont want to even think of it, my dad will understand, he has OCD, but my mum, she will just hit the roof & tell me Im being stupid...& silly...& selfish....& ridiculous...& the list goes on.


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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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January 6th 2009, 03:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_me_again View Post
I live with a support worker, but I cant really talk to anybody, I got enough 'psychotic' problems going on to add in a 'neurotic' problem.
What is happeneing to me regarding eating is going to have to be a battle with me & me only.
I'm sure it doesn't have to be that way! Battling alone will only put further strain on yourself, you need to release all of your pent up emotions and problems, in a hope that someone will help you. Why can't you talk to your support worker? And i'm sure you can tell your dad, as you said yourself he will understand.

I know it may seem like your mum won't understand, but trust me - if she loves and cares about you, she WILL believe you. You don't just give up on someone or turn the other cheek when they are in danger, so i'm sure your mum wouldn't do that to you.


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January 6th 2009, 10:51 PM

hey.. from what you said, your parents don't really know or understand what you're going through.. and i think you could really use their support for your problems. try letting them know that you need their help, and denying is not going to solve anything? is there a school counsellor or someone you can trust to talk to? your ocds are not going to go away on their own, and you need to stop them from getting worse. let the control be out of your hands for a while..

stay strong hun.. hope some of what i said made sense..
take care!



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Re: OCD Is Stopping Me Eating - January 7th 2009, 05:41 AM

Hey there,

Parents can sometimes not understand our prolems, or even be in denial with an official diagnosis. What i think, is that you could possibly get a psychologist for your OCD, which could help through CBT. Are you currently undergoing CBT or on any medication?

I don't know what age CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) goes upto, although i have a feeling it could e 18. Maybe you should speak to your GP about this and try to get a referal?

Adam x
   
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Re: OCD Is Stopping Me Eating - January 10th 2009, 09:10 AM

I didnt want to start a new thread, but I just wanted to say thank yo for the advice. I have managed to eat a bit of pasta, but I am still struggling. I will talk to my Nurse when she comes on tuesday. Im a bit embarrased to ask for help though, because I feel like I am failing when I eat.


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  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: OCD Is Stopping Me Eating - January 10th 2009, 09:41 AM

I am so sorry you feel that way! As an OCD sufferer, I know how you feel. I usually have a difficult writing as every time I get a bad thought, I ritualize immediately and it can be extremely frustrating since I am still in high school.

You need to speak to a therapist, though. If OCD is preventing you from eating whatever you want, then it can be hazardous to your health. As mentioned above, have you considered CBT? At the end of the day, the best way to fight off any trigger is to ACCEPT the thought, etc. no matter how much anxiety/stress you must endure.

Check out Dr. Phillipson: http://www.ocdonline.com/

He is actually based in the U.K., I think. However, if money is not an issue, he does offer phone sessions too. Basically, he is considered to be the leading physchiatrist when it comes to OCD around the world.


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Re: OCD Is Stopping Me Eating - January 13th 2009, 11:12 AM

Im coming back to this thread because I feel I have done well, yesterday I had a sandwhich & today I managed a sandwhich & an apple. Im very proud.


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