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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Chai. Offline
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Is this helping? - June 25th 2015, 02:59 AM

So many of you know, that even though my eating disorder was diagnosed I never really had proper treatment, except for a diet plan which my parents helped me to stick too. Well, I guess having annoying, interfering parents helps because I haven't had any binge episodes since the first of January. (Going somewhere with my new years resolution, am I not? )

Apart from the diet plan, I mark a cross on the days that my ED thoughts have been unbearable. I usually just go out for a run to distract myself from such thoughts. I journal my feelings, I keep a record of what I eat and I don't, I write down every time I fight against the urges and I also reward myself at the end of every week, for getting through that week. (More like my mother does it, but yeah) Is this enough? Am I on track? Within 5 days I will be 6 months free and my parents are talking like I have already recovered and my ED is my past. But I am still not able to talk about it in the past, because I am scared that some day in the future it is going to come back and hit me right in the face, again.

I know recovery isn't easy. It's extremely hard, but I am doing it no matter what. My urges have been really bad, but I am getting through it. But, is this helping? Is it worth it? And when will it stop? When does it become the past? Does it ever end?

I am sorry I asked so many questions. But right now you guys are the only people I can rely on, who won't freak out at these questions. Thank you and sorry if this sounds like rubbish.


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Re: Is this helping? - June 27th 2015, 08:37 AM

Hallo!

Yus, yus, yus it gets better <3 Promise. Buuuuuuut it takes a while. You sound like you're doing all the right things and I'm really proud of everything you've achieved so far. Seriously, it's less an end goal and more of the little victories that gradually get bigger until you realise you're doing things you hadn't even dreamed of before!

And it might come back, sure. But the good thing is that you'll always have the choice to act on it, so if the thoughts come back later in life, head to the doctors straight away, or start with your diet plan and mood tracking stuff. Catching it when it's early is always going to be a good thing, and you'll be able to look out for the signs. Buuuuut lets talk about now

Your parents probably want this in your past; they're probably worried and/or relieved now you're outwardly "better" and doing all this active stuff in recovery. My parents were the complete opposite. I think it's just the way parents deal with this kinda stuff, always looking at a different timescale to you! It's not necessarily a bad thing, just mention it to them if they start saying things you find triggering. Remind them that recovery is faster in some parts than in others, and you still need their support. They sound like they've been supportive so far- maybe they just need a little explanation from you to tailor their approach in this stage of recovery!

Okay I hoped that helped a little <3



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Re: Is this helping? - June 27th 2015, 07:30 PM

Hi there

I agree with what's been said. You seem to be doing all the right things to move forwards with your eating disorder and that's great. You really are taking positive steps to help yourself and I always find that encouraging, positive, inspirational and think it proves a lot about you as a person. I don't have all the answers to your questions. But I believe it does get better but time my friend, is a healer. Your parents don't know how you feel inside and will hope, that this is starting to become part of your past because they care about you and want it to be part of your past, not your future.

I have EDNOS and Bulimia and I often ask myself a lot of the questions you ask yourself. But I honestly, believe you can do this and get through to the other side where things will get easier and better for you and do you know what? YOU ARE worth it. You are worth the fight and worth all of this. So keep at it and keep fighting and remember people, (including us) are there to support you when and if you need it. You're never alone in this and it does get better so keep fighting beautiful.

All my love, x


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