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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Kindred Offline
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YOUR reasons for recovery? - July 13th 2015, 09:08 PM

Hi guys!

As you know, there's a sticky with a loooonnnng list of reasons why recovery is worth it. But they're not YOUR reasons. Sure there may be some overlap but I want to know (and maybe I can edit/ask a PA if I can create a new sticky): Why did you choose to get better? Was it your choice? What keeps you going on hard days, what's your "reason"?

Take as long as you need.
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Re: YOUR reasons for recovery? - July 14th 2015, 02:35 AM

Oh, I like this thread. I look forward to reading other peoples' stories. :-)

I chose to get better because a lot of people were worried about me. I wasn't even able to eat without feeling guilty. There were lots of people questioning my every move. I guess it wasn't really my choice. It got put into the hands of someone else, but I definitely came to realize that recovery is where it's at! My "reason" is my fiance, to be honest. She has pushed me in so many ways and always wants me to be healthy and happy. Without her, I don't know where I'd be.

Recovery sucks some days. I sometimes stay in bed all day because I can't face the thought of food, and I'd rather sleep through meal times. It's not easy, to recover, it's really hard. I have to work on it every single day. Although I'm in recovery for one eating disorder, I've gained another, and now I'm trying to use the same reasons for recovery for this eating disorder too.

It's really important to me that I have a good support system. Like I said, my fiance is one of them, but I also have a mental health team (psychiatrist, counselor, etc.) and they help me take care of things. They help me feel motivated to recover.

Point is, I don't want to be drowning in an eating disorder for the rest of my life, so I chose recovery. I want to be able to live and not kill myself slowly with an eating disorder. It's not an okay life to live.

So, yeah. There's my reasons.

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Re: YOUR reasons for recovery? - July 14th 2015, 11:37 AM

I choose to get better when I realized I was tried of being so self destructive. I wanted to be really happy, and not have to fake it, and I realized I couldn't wait for someone to bring the happiness to me, I had to go get it for myself. So I did. I did have a few snags along the way, as everyone does, but once I found out I was expecting, Ava became my reason to hold steadfast and to become a better person than I was.

She gives me light and happiness and love on the days when I need it most, and she gives me a reminder of why I'm taking better care of myself on days when I'm doing well. Jordan helps me out so much too, because honestly, if I wouldn't have met him when I did, I may not have been here today.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: YOUR reasons for recovery? - July 14th 2015, 07:12 PM

I chose to get better when I realized that I was no longer in control of my eating disorder. I think a common misconception among people struggling with an eating disorder is the idea that it's something that you can control. But, when it becomes an everyday part of your life, you have to realize that you no longer have a say in anything about it.

I think the defining moment for me was the point when I was thisclose to ending up in inpatient care for bulimia. That was never a place that I wanted to end up because it would mean revealing to people one of my most well-kept secrets. That was the point in my life that I realized I would have to start working towards recovery or I would have other people forcing it onto me.

To be honest, the biggest reason that I kept fighting is my ex-girlfriend, Jenn. During the 2 years of our relationship (she came into my life about 6 months after inpatient was brought up), she showed me endless support when it came to my struggles. She also showed me how much the damage that I was doing to my body hurt other people. When I saw her cry because of it, I realized that I was affecting people who loved me on a much deeper level than I realized. Up to that point, I honestly thought the only one that was being affected by my eating disorder was myself.

Since then, I've been more honest with my eating disorder with people who are close to me and I've built up an incredible support system, which has really helped me on my road to recovery.

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Re: YOUR reasons for recovery? - July 24th 2015, 01:40 AM

My reasons for recovery:
1) I had a friend who got really worried and she made me realize that I was no longer in control, but the ED was. She basically told me to either get healthy or she would tell my parents, who would get me admitted to a clinic.
2) I had another friend who also had an ED, and I was trying to help her, and she was trying to help me, so we both started trying to get better for the other friend.
3) I realized just how bad I had gotten with my ED, and how sick I was.
4) I started living with my gram, and when it came time where she INSISTED I needed a swimsuit, I had to keep putting her off because I was ashamed of how small of a size I needed
5) My gram started making comments I was on a "hunger strike" because I hated living with her. That broke my heart.
6) My dad made comments I was "trying to get attention" by claiming not to be hungry constantly, called me names because of it.
7) One of the things that gave me a wake-up call was that no matter how long i went without eating, no matter how much exercise I did, my dad still called me fat, and everybody else said i was "too skinny"
8) I was getting too many stares when I went out to the store and bought only vegetables... even the cashier was staring.
9) I was the one taking care of all the pets, and cooking, and cleaning, and I was tired of being tired and having to take a break after simply lifting the dog food bag, tired of making all this food for everybody else and then nobody wanting to eat it because they said if I wouldn't eat it, then I must have done something wrong/burned it/ruined it somehow.

"I've decided to stick with love. Hate is too great aburden to bear." Martin Luther king Jr.
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Re: YOUR reasons for recovery? - July 28th 2015, 07:03 PM

I'm still trying to find reasons to recover, but at the moment I'm trying because I can see how happy my partner is (they are recovered) and I want to be happy like that too.

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