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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Madison. Offline
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Question Obsessive Calorie Checker - October 11th 2015, 12:21 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So I'm new to this so cut me some slack.
I wasn't sure whether to post this in the "eating disorder" section or "addictive behaviours" so I have done both.
Early this year, and last year, I lost [Edited] through less eating and drinking lots of water. I guess I realised that drinking lots of water was really helping keep off the weight as it flushes everything out. I went from drinking one glass of water a day to drinking 6-7 litres a day. I also became exceptionally conscious of the amount of calories present in food. I began to eat very little and drink excessively. I stopped receiving my periods for quite a few months so mum decided to take me to the doctors to check everything before we went to Melbourne the next day to see my grandmother who had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I thought that my excessive drinking was due to always being thirsty so my doctor thought it may have been diabetes incipidus so she told me to go the hospital. I reached the hospital and they put me through some tests. The paediatrician at the hospital came back a few hours later and said my results showed no signs of diabetes but she thinks I may have had an eating disorder. She claims that whilst not completely anorexic as I am eating, I am close to it as I only would eat things that were low in calories in fear I would put on weight. At this point I never realised how dangerously light in kilograms I was- very underweight. The doctors were hesitant to let me leave the hospital but they did due to my circumstances with my grandma. A few days later, in Melbourne, after eating more and drinking less, my mum receives a calm form my GP. He says that the hospital had called him and said that they should never have let me leave the hospital as due to my weight, I could drop dead at any moment and the only reason they did was because I was coming to visit my grandmother. This was the hardest thing to hear. I had gone from never not thinking about food, to never wanting to eat it. The fact that at any moment I could drop dead really shocked me and left me scared forever. I still go to bed now scared that I won't wake up again the next morning and this is 9 months later. My doctor then proceeded to tell my mother that I had been diagnosed with OCD, but not with the typical symptoms of everything needing to be clean and organised, but obsessed with checking the calories of food.
I have improved since then, put on [Edited] but I am still underweight. I am still afraid to put on weight and I will admit, I still check the calories of almost everything I eat, much to my families despair. I am drinking less also
I guess I just wanted to share this on here because I have never really told anyone before and I thought it was time to get it out of my system.

Last edited by Kindred; October 11th 2015 at 02:01 PM. Reason: Weight numbers are against the Code of Conduct
   
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Re: Obsessive Calorie Checker - October 11th 2015, 01:57 PM

Hey!

I'm really glad you decided to talk to someone about this. Recovery of any kind is always difficult, and it's important to rely on the people around you. We're here for you, as cheesy as that sounds!

The first thing I wanted to mention I guess was this:
Quote:
She claims that whilst not completely anorexic as I am eating
That's a worrying opinion for a doctor to have. No matter the eating disorder, people do eat. The disorder comes from the attitudes and behaviors around foods- so an anorexic (or someone with an eating disorder that involves restricting) will restrict food intake, but they'll still eat. It worries me that your doctor has this view, and I think it might be important to see if you can talk to someone else about this. I'm not in any way disputing your diagnosis, but the fact you mentioned the fear of putting on weight combined with the restricting of food does suggest maybe the development or warning signs of an eating disorder. Whether this is a result of the OCD or vice versa I think it's important you find somewhere that will provide you with comprehensive treatment. You didn't mention whether or not you were in treatment, so excuse me for saying all this if you are!

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma Remember we can be here for you in that respect too. Sometimes even just talking to a comforting ear can help. Although no-one knows how you're feeling right now, and the type of pain you feel, every human at one point has faced a struggle and emotional pain. Remembering that can help.

I'm glad you've put on some weight. The danger won't have passed, and if you're still restricting intake then your body is under intense stress. It's important you consume a healthy amount of calories (especially as you're going through puberty) and so I think if that's something you can't do alone or with your family's support, then you need to seek some kind of treatment for the restricting, as well as the obsessive calorie checking. What I will say is that obsession with calorie numbers is quite common in those with eating disorders. As a result it's often an area that needs to challenged throughout recovery. I know during my recovery numbers were strictly banned. I wasn't allowed to know the calorie numbers of foods because it triggered the thoughts of my eating disorder and made me not want to eat that food. If that sounds terrifying to you, it's likely you do need some kind of professional support in overcoming this. No one should go through this alone, it's terrifying and you're being incredibly brave by reaching out for support. But you can't let this take you, you can't let this consume you and take away your life. You need to fight it, and get better. Because life is truly amazing and has so much more to offer when you're not busy staring and calculating and being afraid of those numbers. And you will get there, I promise



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