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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Counting calories - October 15th 2015, 10:04 AM

Ok so I have never actually mentioned this before, I have this obsession with checking how many calories are in what I eat, and if I don't know or there are too many calories then I just don't eat it. After I eat I always feel extremely fat and feel like I have disappointed everyone by eating and that now I have to lose all the calories I just ate. Every time we have to take those BMI tests, they always say I am underweight by a lot but it doesn't look it so no one ever believes it. I constantly get told I am eating too much and that I should stop eating so much but I actually don't even eat most of my food. I just act like I do but what they say still manages to get under my skin and bug me till I feel fat again and start exercising again to get rid of the calories. I hate feeling like this but I also hate eating because I want to be skinny which I am really not and I can't stand everyone judging me for being so ugly. I mean, my class is going to a restaurant, I don't even know why but we are, and my teacher keeps asking me if I'm going and I keep coming up with reasons why I can't go and he keeps coming up with ways I can work around it but in reality it's just because I hate eating in front of people because I don't eat most of my food on my plate and everyone will think I'm weird if I don't eat it. And I don't want people worrying because there isn't anything wrong I just hate eating. It just makes me feel guilty. People keep trying to give me food and its getting annoying having to decline but not because I want to eat it, but because I don't want to be rude and say no but I say no anyway because I can't eat it.

I don't know why I made this thread. But I just wanted to get this off my chest. This one I will actually send though. I keep making some and then deleting them because I figure no one will care and there is no point making them but oh well I made this one and am sending it.


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Re: Counting calories - October 17th 2015, 05:18 PM

Hey,

I'm glad you did mention this, it sounds silly and cliche but seriously, sometimes telling another person really is the first step towards identifying there's a problem.

And there is a problem here. For starters:

Quote:
And I don't want people worrying because there isn't anything wrong I just hate eating
This is a problem, generally. Not liking eating...it's tricky and some people might disagree with me here but I think straight away that's an indicator something is wrong. Eating is necessary for survival and as a result, eating should be a rewarding behavior. It should make you feel good and I think if you don't get this feeling and this encouragement to keep eating it means somethings wrong. And it's definitely a problem in your case, because your "dislike" means you're not eating enough by the sounds of it.

Now BMI is a funny measure so if you were eating normally and had no problems around food I would probably have told you to just make sure you were eating enough of all types of food and maybe visit a nutritionist. However in conjunction with the rest of what you've said, it's concerning. You mention feeling extremely fat after you eat when obviously this isn't the case. This is a sign you need to seek help regarding this.

Obviously I can't make you, I won't dedicate lots of time to begging you to seek help or anything, I'm just mentioning it. If you feel like this around food and restrict, which it sounds like you're doing, you should seek help. It's very dangerous and even if you don't care about that now, some of these effects are permanent. If somewhere inside you, something is brushing off these concerns and saying what you're doing is fine or it doesn't care, that's just another indicator something is wrong and you should consider seeking help. Talk to your teacher if you don't want to go to a doctor or your parents; it sounds like he's concerned anyway.

I hope you do what's best for you, remember we're all here for you



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