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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Obsessing. - January 30th 2016, 04:42 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ok. So I'm kinda obsessing over the way I look. I hate to admit it but I am. I wrote down all my mesurements and weight today. And let's just say I was not pleased. And so now I have in my head that I am going to punish myself because of this. So I didn't eat today. And for some reason I've been throwing up like crazy (not related I don't think.. Who knows). So tomorrow I guess I'll do the same. Anyone who is skinny does not understand what this is like. You look at yourself in disgust and just can't take it. I know I shouldn't like care what I look like. But seriously why not? The whole world judges you on the way you look so why can't I judge myself? I need help. I wish I could just get surgery to be very skinny. That way I never have to think about this. But that won't ever happen I just can't take this. Depression and anxiety attack me from the inside. Then this attacks me from the outside. And it just doesn't make sense. And I'm tired of it! But I need to lose weight. Fast. Now. Ugh. So yea, not doing good


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Re: Obsessing. - January 31st 2016, 05:32 PM

Hi lovely.

Sorry you're going through such a rough time. I was talking to my sponsor about someone I know with anorexia, and she said that for years she tried to be slim but all that time she wasn't happy and now she eats what she wants (but eats healthily) and her body weight has adjusted to what it wants to me and she couldn't be happier. All those "skinny people" you mention, might be going through the exact same thing as you. Maybe they think they're fat and need to lose weight and are doing so in dangerous ways. Don't judge someone but what they look like, you know?

You are perfect the way you are inside and outside and as long as you're eating healthy and exercising on a regular basis, your body should find a weight it is happy at and I think it's now about you learning at when you do get to the point of if you already are, then you need to be happy with it. Accept you for what you look like. If you do need to lose weight have you thought about seeing your doctor or a apdietition for help? That way they can give you healthy ways to lose weight instead if you putting yourself at risk.

Hopes this helps a little, I know it's a hard fit but you're strong enough to beat it and we believe in you okay?

Hopes and wishes,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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