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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Ashamed - February 21st 2016, 09:01 PM

Hi there,

I've been struggling with anorexia for about six months now. I've lost a substantial amount of weight, and already I can feel my body shutting down.
For instance, yesterday I was just in my dorm room making some coffee and out of nowhere I began to wet my pants. I felt so ashamed, and I couldn't believe I'd allowed myself to do that.
Has this happened to anyone else? I feel so alone, and I want to stop feeling so ashamed of myself. I want to get better and I want to gain control over my life again. Any help and support is so appreciated.

Love you guys.


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Re: Ashamed - February 23rd 2016, 02:46 PM

Hey,

Although this isn't something I've personally experienced, it doesn't surprise me to hear you mention it- I believe someone I used to speak to experienced a problem like you describe. Starvation really affects your body in all sorts of ways. Instead of hating your body or yourself, try to refocus and see the enemy here. Your eating disorder is the thing that is hurting you and that needs to change and especially if you're experiencing these physical symptoms, recovery needs to be something you're looking into. I'm glad to read your last sentence expressing a desire to gain control over your life. First steps, right?

I can't make you talk to anyone about this but I can recommend it. Human resolve, determination and motivation tend to wax and wane over time, and so having someone there when you're not feeling strong to keep you going is really helpful when it comes to recovering. It's by no means an easy process, as I'm sure you'll appreciate, and having someone along for the ride can really help.

From the mention of a dorm room, I'm gonna assume you're at college. Is there any help and support offered? Free counselling, free therapy, things like that? I'd advise you to take all the help you can, and especially in terms of getting outside help. In early recovery a meal plan can be helpful and often you're not the best person to make your own meal plan for obvious reasons. You might also need medical support to overcome the physical effects of your eating disorder.

Research and look around you for help, but remember we're always here. Well done for taking the first step x



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Re: Ashamed - February 27th 2016, 05:37 PM

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us here, I hope we can help you.

I don't personally struggle with anorexia but do have an eating disorder, however have never had this problem but I do know someone I'm very close with who has anorexia and when she was very ill, I saw her body shut down in all kind of ways and it was scary so I cant imagine how you are feeling.

Do you want to talk about your eating disorder? Why you starve yourself? What triggered it or triggers the urges to not eat? I know it can be hard to talk about but maybe we could help you figure a few things out. And that's all we want to do; help you. You deserve the help while you're going through this.

Talking to someone is something I want to encourage you to do, whether it's a family member, a friend or someone at college etc. Maybe you could even see your doctor and look into seeing an eating disorder specialist or a dietitian etc. It might also be worth looking into local eating disorder support groups. I've been to one and it was honestly really helpful even though I went as a carer. They ran one for careers and suffered at the same time and a lot of people I know who went, benefited from it. And remember we're always here for you too so you are never alone in this.

Just stay strong, hang in there and don't suffer in silence, you deserve help with this, and remember, food is a right, not a privaledge.

Hope and wishes,
Jessie




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Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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