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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Never been diagnosed with an ED but this is what im struggling with. - May 22nd 2016, 11:59 PM

I just went on a run and got really excited because i got my best time for a mile. I ran so much faster than i have in years. Anyway, i physically feel sick because i ran so fast and then ate too much. Ive tried to purge myself but was never successful.

I never want to eat again or at least not for a very long time. I cant go more than two days without food because my mom always like to make sure i eat. I can get away with not eating until dinner but once dinner arrives, i just cant not eat. Ive been depressed with dealing with these weight loss goals and self image inssues. I dont care if this is unhealthy, i just want to be thinner (according to others, im thin) than i am. I have so many imperfections in my body, but why doesnt anyone else see them?

I already have plans for tonight when my parents will be gone. Im going to do my intense workouts and[Edited] to make myself puke. This is perfect. Since im making dinner for the next few days, i can pretend that i already ate. I feel guilty for lying, but i also feel guilty for eating.

I dont know why im making this a "rant session", but i guess i am. Now for the questions: are ED self diagnosable? Why should i stop going down this dangerous road of starvation? Advice?

Thank you.

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Re: Never been diagnosed with an ED but this is what im struggling with. - May 23rd 2016, 01:42 AM

First of all I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

I am glad you are reaching out as this could become very serious. I recommend you do not make yourself throw up because that can become addicting and horrible. Eating disorders are such a complicated thing. The fact that you recognize that these habits are really bad is a good thing. I honestly suggest you tell your parents and get a therapist or if you already have one then tell them about your eating and exercising habits. You want to nip this in the but before it gets any worse.

If you ever need to talk then feel free to pm/vm me anytime.


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Re: Never been diagnosed with an ED but this is what im struggling with. - May 23rd 2016, 03:40 AM

Hey there,

Every single person on the planet has imperfections but in my eyes those imperfections are what make us unique. I know there are things about yourself that you don't like but maybe instead of focusing on those things you could focus on things that you do like about yourself. Maybe ask people in your life things they like about you if you can't come up with anything. I would suggest that you post the list of things you like about yourself around your room and maybe the bathroom mirror. The more you remind yourself of the things you like the less you will focus on the negative things you see in yourself.

I would also advise you against purging. It becomes highly addictive and it is extremely dangerous. It causes your body to lose electrolytes and get low on potassium so much so that one purge can lead to death.

I think that you should look into counseling to try and work through these issues. While you might not have been diagnosed with an eating disorder you are doing unhealthy things that you should work on dealing with so that it doesn't turn into an eating disorder.

I struggle with disordered eating and one thing that helps me after meals is distracting myself after eating. Something I use to distract myself is reading. I don't know if you like to read but you can get so absorbed in the story that you forget about the food you have eaten or the desires to purge. If reading isn't for you maybe you could consider coloring or chatting on the internet or doing some other distraction. You can look at the Alternatives to Self Harm to get an idea of some of the things that you can do.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything feel free to message me.


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Re: Never been diagnosed with an ED but this is what im struggling with. - May 26th 2016, 12:11 AM

Thanks guys!
   
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