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AnaMia won't shut up. - January 5th 2017, 01:51 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

The voice in my head is so fricken loud. "you are a fat slob" "look how ugly you are" "Go buy laxatives" Good girl you bought them now take two"

and many more things. I feel like shit. I just go a pair of pants and the normal size i get is to small. I just want to be thin. My face is fat, my arms are so fricken fat, my legs are disgustingly fat, I need a thigh gap, My butt is so huge it needs to be tiny. I need to be tiny.

My therapist said she will not make me stop my ed or even focus on that at all. And it makes me happy that I can do this and know one will stop me. I am morbidly obese so no one will know im activly loosing weight because i need too so it's a good thing.

I know all this is bad but I can't help it.

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: AnaMia won't shut up. - January 5th 2017, 10:43 AM

Why did your therapist say this? Despite the fact that you need to lose weight your eating disorder needs to be focused on because no matter what weight you are it is extremely dangerous. Given the fact that you are using laxative and don't have a therapist you can talk to about this concerns me. I know it's hard but I think you need to bring up to your therapist that you are buying laxatives and see what she says. If they won't focus on your ED than you should really consider getting someone that will.

I am morbidly obese and I have had therapists that did not care about my ED but there were a lot that actually did and one of them got me into treatment.

Best of luck.

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anamia, shut

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