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FrozenRobot7 Offline
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Name: Danielle
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I hate my body - February 25th 2017, 03:45 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

For as long as I can remember, I have hated the way I look, and it's gotten so much worse recently.

Ever since forth or fifth grade, I have been very aware of my body weight, and it has always been a struggle. Around this time I started the early stages of puberty, and I gained a lot of weight. I was bullied during this time also, but just for my weight, but also because of my appearance and overall style.

When I started my period in 6th grade, I was really hoping that it would change it all. I would become skinner and I have the perfect body. But, that clearly didn't happen, but I did honestly get skinner. I also got braces and cut off all of my hair that year, which made my overall apoearence a lot better.

Come middle school, I honestly hated everything about myself. I had really bad acne for all of middle school and was always concerned about my weight. Every time I would sit down, I would lift up my legs so my thighs wouldn't flatten, and would try to sit up straighter so I stomach looked smaller.

Recently my acne has gotten a lot better, so I have been trying to fix my weight along with it. I am excising a good amount and trying to eat healthy, but nothing is happening. I spend every minute of every day thinking about all of the fat in my body, and it is consuming my life.

What I am really asking for is how to improve my overall self esteem. I try every day just to feel a little better about myself and fail miserable every time. At this point I am done trying, so any type of advice would be much appreciated

Last edited by .Brittany.; February 25th 2017 at 02:46 PM. Reason: Moving to a Different Forum
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Thinking Offline
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Re: I hate my body - February 25th 2017, 11:35 AM

Hi Danielle! I also hate myself in many ways too, but its getting better now. Maybe I can help you to feel better of yourself just like I do!

>> I was bullied during this time also, but just for my weight, but also because of my appearance and overall style.

- Guess what? I am also fat and get builied my classmates a few times in primary school. And sometimes I felt that I cant help much with my weight, so I didn't really care about my weight anymore and keep getting fat, untill a few years ago, when I realize I had to take care of my weight not for the bulies, but for myself. You yourself is the best motivator to do anything, not others.
And you have limited cares to give. Sometimes you can learn to not bother about how others look at you. Some critics are demeaning themselves by bullying you, and you shouldn't even care about their words. It would be better if you show emphaty to them, that they haven't found a better way to make themselves feel good and ended up bullying others. You can even try to talk to them and help them if you can, since these bullies are actually also the same kind of person who secretly needs help too!

>> Every time I would sit down, I would lift up my legs so my thighs wouldn't flatten, and would try to sit up straighter so I stomach looked smaller.

- Hey same situation here! But eventually I learnt to not care about how I look. My appearance (and perhaps you think yours too) is not as good as others, so try to work on some other aspects that you can change with effort. No one said that a wonderful person must be slim and look good: There are just so many other ways to improve yourself! It will be very tiring if you had to always live yourself to others expectations, or to get other's approval.

>> I am excising a good amount and trying to eat healthy, but nothing is happening. I spend every minute of every day thinking about all of the fat in my body, and it is consuming my life.

- A bit of science and research here... Have you considered trying ketogenic diet? That is, a diet with no (or very little) carbohydrate and little fat with ridiculously high amount of protein. I can try to explain what is going on with your food into your body. So what making you fat is not just your fat consumption, but your carbohydrate as well. Carbohydrate is converted into glucose which is used by your body for daily activities. When there are excess glucose, it converts into fat. Average person requires approximately (depending on your living mode) 2000 calories per day, so no matter how counterintuitive it seems, just by staying awake and doing work will burn up this much of calories, and you definitely don't have to starve (or eat very little) to be slim.

What you should reduce however is the the carbohydrate intake. While you might not want to reduce to zero right away, you can reduce it bit by bit every few days, while increase your protein intake at the same time. The objective is to make sure the calories from the intake is still the same every day. The difference here is that when your body have very low level of carbohydrate to consume, it will start a mode called kitogenesis, which means it changes your fat into ketones and uses protein during the process. That's basically the idea of the diet.

But the transistion from normal state to start ketogenesis can be uncomfortable (especially there is a sudden drop in carbohydrate intake). This is because your body cells will cry for glucose which is dropping because of lack fo carbohydrate. You might feel tired and weak, while not feeling hungry. But it usually only last for few days, then the ketogenic mode starts and your body will start to consume fat into ketone for alternative energy source. But if you ever feel very uncomfortable with it, then I would really suggest to not have this diet, or remain at the carbohydrate level you are having at that time.

A word of CAUTION: In this diet however, you must consume a lot of protein, and for safety, a little amount of carbohydrate. If during ketogenesis there is no more protein left from your diet, then your fat will not able to be converted into ketone, and your body will start to burn up your body tissues like muscles to gain protein for ketogenesis to continue, which is extremely dangerous! And I really do not recommend you to take this diet in a long time (like say more than 1 year), because your liver will convert excess protein into uric acids, and too much consumption of protein may stress and harm your liver. I recommend you to return to original diet once you had meet your target weight.

I hope this gives you some idea on a possible (and pretty famous) diet to kill fat. However I still strongly advice you to discuss this with a doctor to plan out your diet in full detail (because you need to meet your daily calory requirement too!) If you had time you can even research this on your own on top of seeing a doctor!

>> What I am really asking for is how to improve my overall self esteem.

- I think this is the main issue to your problem, not your appearance. Try to give yourself some time to figure about what are your strengths and weakness. Write it out on a piece of paper and you can even stick it on your bedroom wall. Then everyday tell yourself to remove one weakness from the list and move it to be your strength. And its perfectly okay if you initially started out with very few strengths, and I can help you by listing out a few! First I commend you for being brave to ask for help here, and also you have high self awareness about your health and appearance, which is good!

A few particular aspects you can probably improve right now is your social skills. Meet more friends here and try to get to know them! Talk to them and make friends, then hopefully you will find it easier to do the same thing in real life. (I am learning to overcome my fear as well!) And probably the next part is your academics. Maybe you can try to study more to get higher results. I believe others will be impressed with your effort and the good results!

And if you are still unsure about your appearance, I think being tidy and clean is more important than being fat or slim. A person who is tidy and clean speaks a lot about this person's dicipline and self respect! You might be surprised by just making yourself look tidy and clean can make yourself look much more confident and others will respect you much more irregardless of how you look!

I hope this helps you! Don't forget that I am one PM away if you need my help! You are an amazing person.

Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
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