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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Wishes Offline
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idek - February 25th 2017, 11:19 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I woke up this morning and my brother asked me why my face looked so fat.
Then my mum came in the room and she was angry at me (as usual idek why anymore) and she said "get out the room you ugly bastard."
That's triggered me to just stop eating
Idek what to do anymore
   
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Re: idek - February 26th 2017, 09:54 AM

Hey there! I will try to help as much as I can.

>> my brother asked me why my face looked so fat.

- This is what a standard brother will do to his siblings I suppose? They are the mischevious ones. Don't put it too personally. If you find it very depressing then you should probably talk to your brother and tell him that you are hurt by his words. I hope he will understand and be nicer to you with his words.

>> Then my mum came in the room and she was angry at me (as usual idek why anymore) and she said "get out the room you ugly bastard."

- I noticed similar situations from the previous posts you made. Do you think your parents are just very strict on you, or they are emotionally abusive? I do know that some parents are very strict and can seem to be mean to their kids, and that sometimes can be considered as abusive... In any case its sad to see they calling you a bastard. You are definitely not!

And you are not ugly at all. The real ugly people are those who look nice at the skin, but horrible in their hearts. I am sure you are not. You have a kind and beautiful heart, that is something more valuable and sustainable than your looks. No one is going to be beautiful forever, but what last forever is your kindness!

>> That's triggered me to just stop eating

- To stop being fat, you need to eat! If you stop eating, your body will not have enough carbohydrate to stay active. So it starts to lower your metabolism rate. It changes your body's mechanism of burning calories in a more efficient way, in other words, every calory matters, and your body is using them sparingly.

At this point you will get tired or even fatigue. And you will start to feel hungry as well. If at this time you eat a lot (or perhaps doesn't have to be a lot), all the food you had taken will be also being used in the "calory-saving mode" too. And what does this mean? A lot of excess carbohydrate will be left out, and that's going to be converted into fat. This is much worse than eating a lot at optimal conditions!

I know that you insist eating breakfast, which is good, since this speeds up your metabolism rate. Remember, whatever you eat or do, its not just eating less that matters, you also have to use up what you eat faster as well! Your body is made in a way that if you eat too little then it will use them up slower. And keep eating means you body have enough energy supply to keep working with optimal calory usage. How do you increase this further? Exercise.

And in terms your food intake, perhaps you can try to increase your amount of meals but decrease the quantity of food in each meal. This will remain your metabolism rate at optimal at all times. You can also try to lower your carbohydrate intake and replace it with other types of food, since its excess carbohydrate that is converted into fat. But no matter how it is, the total amount of calory you had should not be lower than optimal, otherwise you are torturing yourself while your body lowers the metabolism rate, and it doesnt help burning fat at all.


I hope this helps. Remember that you are beautiful, and will always be


Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
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Re: idek - February 26th 2017, 06:54 PM

I'm so sorry that you went through this lately, and that it triggered you to restrict. Have you spoken to anyone about the things that you're going through? I know that it's scary, and super difficult, but it helps a lot to get these things out in the open. You don't have to give specifics, maybe just start by asking your brother not to say things like that to you, or talking to your mother about why she seems to be angry. People can often be irrational and act badly because of something that is happening in their own lives; it oftentimes doesn't have anything to do with the person they're treating poorly.

I also struggle with an ED, and if there is anything that I can do to help you (I'm a pretty good listener) please do not hesitate to let me know.

- Erin


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you're not too far
lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
come as you are.

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Re: idek - February 28th 2017, 12:56 PM

Thank you both of you for the advice and support.
It means a lot that you care and the advice is very helpful, thank you
   
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Re: idek - March 2nd 2017, 09:26 PM

truthfully your mum is completely wrong speaking to you like that have you told her how you feel
   
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Re: idek - March 3rd 2017, 10:20 AM

no i haven't i guess if i did it might make things worse idk
   
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Re: idek - March 3rd 2017, 11:29 AM

have you told anyone else because else I said it unacceptable for her to say that
   
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Re: idek - March 5th 2017, 08:44 PM

Hi, Lavern.

I'm so sorry that both your mom and your brother were so harsh to you. Their words are definitely unacceptable. You weren't even doing anything wrong; you simply woke up and were met with mistreatment immediately. I wish your mom and brother were kinder to you, Lavern.

Depending on how old your brother is, it is true that siblings do say harsh things to one another not realizing the effect it'd have on their sibling. But that doesn't make it okay. Your mom is supposed to be the adult and take steps in restricting your brother from mistreating you but instead, she is following that same path.

You mentioned that talking to your mom might make things worse? I understand the fear but I think it's worth a try. You can write a note if that'd be easier. Just word it respectfully and make your feelings clear, as well as asking why she seems angry lately and offer to listen. Hopefully you'll be met with the same kindness and respect. Aside from that, is your dad around? I'm wondering if you can go to him and talk to him about how your mom and brother is treating you. Their words are affecting your self-esteem, overall emotional state and now your physical health considering it is contributing to your eating disorder. It is unfair that the people who are supposed to protect you from other people who are treating you in a harmful manner emotionally/physically are the ones doing just that.

Their words understandably have an affect on your self-esteem and influence your eating habits, but do your best to counteract those urges and nourish your body instead. Eat healthy foods and take care of your body as that's the best thing you can do. Your mom and brother can throw out insults, but what matters is you'll have a healthy body and they can't take that away. However, I know you can't simply flip a switch and suddenly be able to push those eating behaviors to the side. Just take it one day at a time, be kind to yourself and let people in who can help you.

Most importantly, remember that what your mom and brother says to you is nowhere near the truth. You deserve respect, kindness and encouragement. Therefore, they're not treating you in a way in which you deserve. I hope new people come into your life who treat you a whole lot better. In the meantime, treat yourself with kindness.

Take care and feel free to message me if you need to talk.
   
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