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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Can you hear the silence?
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I am about to have a nervous breakdown - May 4th 2017, 05:33 PM

I just went on a 4 day binge I can't believe it I worked so hard with my doctor to get to what is considered a good weight for me. My cat recently died I drank loads of beer and acholic drinks I had loads and loads of fast food. I am not providing how much I ate but it was defiantly over what I should be eating if not double...

I am so terrified I have never had this happen to me before I can not stop crying partly because of my cat and because of what happened to me today.

I spelt ahcole wrong achloihlic I don't know I am so stupid the spell check can not even work out what I am trying to spell. stupid dyslexia.

I also am struggling to cope at work because I get treated like crap because of my learning problem and the customers are so nasty at work one of them made fun of me for being not able to count money... Now all this on top of each other and all my mental health issues oh my how am I going to cope

Ok so I have never binge ate before I don't know what is going to happen I am honestly and utterly terrified.

Last edited by bringmethehorizon♥; May 5th 2017 at 02:54 PM.
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Re: I am about to have a nervous breakdown - May 7th 2017, 09:48 AM

So sorry you are going through these.

First you are not stupid even a bit, spellings is a problem for me as well even when I don't have dyslexia. You are not stupid, okay? There is much more you can do and you are much more worthy than you think (It's alcoholic anyway.)

I feel sad that your cat is no longer here. Stay strong and take care of yourself! It must be difficult for you espcially if you have a strong bond with your cat. I hope you will get over this, and I know you will. You can maybe make an album of photos of your cat, so that you can look back at them in future. And also all the beautiful memories you had with your cat, you can put them in a special box, which will mean a lot for you forever.

I amsorry that I really dont know what I can say to help you with work. I just hope all the things will go well for you again. You probably need a lot of hugs, with all those horrible expirences at work.

I really hope things will be better for you once again. Do let us know how things go in future!

Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
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Re: I am about to have a nervous breakdown - May 8th 2017, 05:42 PM

Hey, Justin.

Let me start by saying this - Breathe. Take a deep breath.

You have come so far from where you were in the past with your eating disorder. As with most things, recovery from is not a linear journey. There are bound to be times where you're doing really good, but also times where things are more difficult and you might use disordered behaviors (new or old) again. It's okay that you binged. It's okay that you binged four days in a row. Really, it is. Forgive yourself for those days because hating yourself will only make you more likely to try and compensate for the behavior. Your body is not going to drastically change because you had some consecutive days where you binged. Your body knows what to do with the extra calories and it will use them accordingly. I know personally when I binge I feel like I need to restrict to make up for it, but that is exactly how the binge-restrict-etc cycle keeps itself going. So forgive yourself. Pick yourself back up and try to get back to eating how your doctor has recommended you to.

I'd also suggest trying to avoid drinking alcohol. It's a depressant and ultimately makes you feel worse, especially when you drink alone. It's usually just a recipe for bad feelings and bad days.

I'm really sorry that you've lost your cat. I know how important they are and how much we love them and how devastating it can be to lose them. Let yourself grieve in healthy ways and give yourself time to do so. Talk to others, journal/create art about how you feel, and cry if you need to. Try to deep breathe when you feel overwhelmed. And be kind to yourself, okay?

Customer services jobs can be pretty crap between customers being rude and disabilities/illnesses getting in the way. I know it's not always feasible immediately, but perhaps you could consider looking for a job that's within what you are able to do and just deals less (or not at all) with customers. You could also see if there are any open positions where you currently work that deal less with customers. It's hard, but try to ignore what the customers say. There's no excuse for their, frankly, shitty attitude towards you and you don't deserve it, but there will always be rude people wherever you go who won't care about how their words affect others.

Remember you are doing your best and that's what matters. Hang in there, Justin. This bump in the road does not undo all of the progress you've made and effort you've put into your recovery.

“There is nothing beautiful about the wreckage of a human being.
There is nothing pretty about damage, about pain, about heartache.
What is beautiful is their strength, their resilience, their fortitude
as they display an ocean of courage when they pick through the
wreckage of their life to build something beautiful brand new,
against every odd that is stacked against them.” — Nikita Gill

Last edited by arepo; May 8th 2017 at 06:35 PM.
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