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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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I look like a pig... - September 25th 2017, 12:49 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So yesterday my mum got angry again because she thought I was saying something bad about her to my brother. I really wasn't.
But she got angry at me even so and told me I look like a pig and that she has told me this so many times. So she actually remembers saying it and doesn't even care about my feelings or anything.
So I was already restricting, but that just...I guess...encouraged me to carry on. I have been properly restricting for 4 days now, and when I thought of that I was happy.
I am at school today and I started thinking about lunch. I really want to get something to eat but can't because then I will stay looking 'like a pig'.

Also last night I had a weird dream. I had a dream that my mum made me hot chocolate and I ate a biscuit. But when I woke up, the way I felt was like I had woken from a nightmare. I was relieved it wasn't real and that I didn't eat/drink it.

I want to eat properly again. I miss foods but I just want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see.
Just wanted a rant


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Re: I look like a pig... - September 25th 2017, 01:03 PM

Hey,
I am so sorry that you are going through this.

First of all I want to say you do not look like a pig. Your mom probably said that because she was angry and knew it was a weakness for you. Just do not believe her. Please do not believe the mirror. It only tells you lies.

Do you see a therapist? If you do does she specialize in EDs? If not I suggest that you find one that does. If you do not see a therapist I highly recommened getting one. It helps to talk things out and figure out what is behind all of this.

I know you said that you cannot eat. I sometimes feel that way too, but that is just the ED talking. You can eat, you must be stronger than the voice inside your head. I am not suggesting that you eat a three course meal. Maybe start out with some fruit. Or toast something that is little. Then work your way up to more food.

I really hope this has helped. If you ever need to talk I am just a PM/VM away.

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Essa<3



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Re: I look like a pig... - September 25th 2017, 05:20 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear your mum said you look like a pig. Like Essa said, she was probably angry and knew it was your weakness. Don't listen to her, she's only trying to get under your skin when she says that.

Do you see someone like a therapist? If you don't, I suggest you look into getting one; especially someone that specializes in eating disorders. It can help to have someone to walk through problems with and getting to the bottom of it will be easier foryou .

Please don't restrict and ignore the harsh words your mum said. Restricting is actually the worst thing you can do for your body. Try to eat something. It doesn't have to be three full courses, but at least get some nutrients and protein in your body.

If you need to reach out again, please don't hesitate.
   
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Re: I look like a pig... - September 26th 2017, 08:09 AM

Thank you both of you. I will listen to your advice, it was very helpful. I don't have a therapist, my mum wouldn't let me...


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