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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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streetlight6 Offline
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Helping my girlfriend - January 14th 2009, 06:10 PM

Hi, this is the first time I've posted on here so I'm a tad nervous. Recently, my girlfriend has been diagnosed as having anorexia and she's been doing really well but i've come unstuck on one small issue. My girlfriend has accepted that she has a problem and she wants to stop but not for the right reasons. She wants to stop because she knows that it makes me and our friends unhappy seeing her like this. She likes what she sees in the mirror and is only stopping because we want her to.

Ive made sure that I havnt told her that I think she needs to put on weight and things like that because I know it will make things worse and I don't want to say I think shes beautiful and everything because then I fear she will want to stay how she is because I like it.

I need - somehow - to make her realise herself that she is too thin but for obvious reasons I don't want to shout it at her. I'm proud of her for wanting to stop and I tell her that all the time but we just need to get over this one hurdle.

Can anyone help?
   
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justDucky Offline
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Re: Helping my girlfriend - January 14th 2009, 09:08 PM

I think there isn't much more you can do. Everything you are doing is great. Is your girlfriend in therapy? That could be benificial to her.

Keep being supportive and if she falls just let her know you still care. It'll be harder for her to recove until she wants it herself.

I'm not sure exactly what you can do anymore. Just keep working on it with her, eventually it'll make sense and everything will work out.

i'm sorry I couldn't really help you more.
   
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emotionless129 Offline
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Re: Helping my girlfriend - January 14th 2009, 09:11 PM

I think it's great that you've been supportive. I believe the best thing for her to do is to go to a counselor so talk about her feelings and how she sees herself.


Just when you think things can't get any worse,
they do. I've learned that life is like an hourglass.
Sooner or later, everything hits rock bottom.
All you have to do is be patient and wait for
someone to turn everything back around. <3

   
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Re: Helping my girlfriend - January 14th 2009, 09:36 PM

Wow you sound like an amazing boyfriend. I'd say keep being there to support her, but don't be afraid to tell her that she's beautiful. I guess I'd say...that you think she's beautiful, but it has nothing to do with the outside, its all about the inside. And that she is gorgeous on the outside when she's healthy.

Don't worry about the fact that she is doing this for her friends right now, because sometimes when you have no self esteem thats all you can do! Eventually she'll get to the point where she is doing it for herself, but right now that may be the only thing that matters.




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know an angel? tell me about it
   
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Re: Helping my girlfriend - January 17th 2009, 12:43 PM

Wow, thanks everyone. Im just trying to do what any bf would do really.

justDucky, yeh she is in therapy and she's doing really well. All her friends are being really supportive too now so i think its all going to be ok. She still wants to look like she does at the moment but she is eating because she wants to make me and our friends happy.
   
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Re: Helping my girlfriend - January 17th 2009, 03:53 PM

Many anorexics never realise they were too thin until they get better and put on weight. She is going int he right direction and whatever reasons that may be for, its a good thing. She will realise things in her own time so don't worry about that, just continue to be there for her.

You sound like an amazing person and she's very lucky to have such a caring boyfriend. This is going to be tough for you too as you have to be strong for her, so make sure you have someone you can go to to get everything off your chest once in a while. We are always here for you x
   
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