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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Do I deserve it? - January 4th 2018, 02:24 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I feel that I deserve this and that I am so ugly so I shouldn't eat. When I think about eating properly I know that then I will not change and will stay being ugly.
I just want to be beautiful and happy. I still remember the things people have said to me and the things that happened with the guy I liked...and still do like.
I'm sure I have seen him looking at other girls, and they are beautiful and I am not, that's why he doesn't want me.
I will never be beautiful like them if I keep eating.
I have started eating less calories and feeling more guilty when eating. I only had toast, noodles and a hot cross bun yesterday (all of which I only ate because of my mum) but I feel that that is too much, even though it is really too little.

I don't think this makes much sense, I just wanted to rant i guess...

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Re: Do I deserve it? - January 5th 2018, 02:24 AM

Hey there Eating disorders have a tendency to try to legitimize themselves in our brains. They will try to make us feel like we deserve them and find reasons, such as this boy, wanting to be beautiful, etc. The truth is no matter how little you eat or how much weight you lose, self love comes from within. You cannot hate yourself to love yourself, it just doesn't work. Additionally, other girls being beautiful doesn't mean that you aren't; all fruits have different shapes and sizes, but they are own beautiful and sweet in their own ways. Humans are the same. You can be the juiciest peach in the world and some people don't like peaches; this boy may have just not been interested in you. I wouldn't use his judgment as a reflection of your body or what you should do to it.

Have you sought any therapy for your eating issues? Even if your symptoms or traits may not be diagnosed as anorexia, these are all traits of disordered eating, and getting help with these issues early can help prevent further damage. Additionally, therapy may help with some of the issues you are having about your self esteem and the way you compare yourself with other girls. Honestly, therapy is just awesome; it's great to have an outside person to support you and help you rethink situations.

Good luck.

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Re: Do I deserve it? - January 5th 2018, 06:21 AM

Hey there,

You do not deserve this. Eating disorders have a way of making us believe things that are not true. It can be really helpful to identify the unhealthy thoughts that the eating disorder might be causing. One of the ways you could try and do this is write down any unhealthy thoughts you might be having about yourself and than look back on them at some point. I know, for me, looking back on them helped me identify them and than I would sometimes work on re-framing or re-writing the thoughts and making them a bit healthier.

For example:

"I am so ugly and no one will love me"

Re-write too:

"I might feel ugly but that doesn't mean that I am or that no one will love me"

This can be difficult to do and I still struggle with trying to re-write/re-frame my thoughts.

I think something you need to try and remind yourself is that there are so many different people out in the world and they all have their beauty. We might not be beautiful everyone (I don't think anyone is) but there are people out there who will find us beautiful.

I know it can be difficult to like someone and find out that they might not feel the same. I know you might feel like he isn't interested because you are ugly but there could be plenty of reasons as to why you all might be struggling to connect.

Best regards.

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