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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Exclamation Hunger - February 15th 2018, 05:41 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I donít eat that much but even after I eat a little more than normal and feel guilty, I still feel stomach cry for food. Iím already bloated and I plan to workout to burn calories, and potentially vomit, but for some reason my stomach still tells me Iím hungry. Then I wonder if itís just digesting food and happens to make noises and grumbles. I used to binge and purge a lot but this year, I havenít binged at all. To what most people would consider a binge. I feel like Iím in ďbinge modeĒ where I lose control and stuff my face, for like five minutes then I stop and punish myself with late night workout. Why is my stomach still hungry when I already have eaten? Is that still considered a binge? it wasnít that much compared to some people. But i still feel guilty for every ďout of controlĒ moment I have. Please help. Thank you!
   
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Re: Hunger - February 15th 2018, 07:38 AM

Hey Cheyenne,

So when you have starved yourself for so long once you start eating even it is a normal size meal you are going to be hungry. Your body needs to adjust to the food and find a balance on the right amount of food you need.


The way I see it, I think a binge is up to the person. For me a binge is when I tend to eat an amount I usually don't eat. I consider that I binged to day even though it was through out the whole day. I ate a lot more than I usually do.

I know you said you haven't really purged this year, but after you eat if you exercise excessively and burn all the calories you ate plus some that actually falls under the category of exercise Bulimia.

The guilt you are feeling is the eating disorder part of your brain that is telling you what you did is wrong. I know how hard it is to ignore the voice telling you this, but it is worth it.

I think I have seen some of your post about wanting to recover from your eating disorder. I know that it is possible for you. I can't remember if you have a therapist whether she specializes in Eds or not. Have you ever thought about getting a nutritionist. I know when I had one who specialized in Eds she gave me a meal plan that was design for me. It was really helpful. So if you don't have one maybe you might look into one.

I hope some of this has helped. If you ever need to talk, I am just a PM/VM away. When I am on I always am on chat so you can message me on there as well.

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Re: Hunger - February 15th 2018, 07:59 AM

Thanks Frankie. The whole therapist thing is a complicated situation: I’m not allowed to get professional help. I do anyway through my school. No, she doesn’t specialize in EDs. The reasons for not being allowed to get help are very confusing and it’s because my dad is just so arrogant and selfish and just a plain jerk. I wish it was easy to love him.
But that’s beside the point.
At one point,I was truly bulimic. But if u look at the diagnostic criteria from the DSM, it defines a binge as “eating, in a discrete period of time (for example, within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is definitely larger than most people would eat in a similar period of time under similar circumstances.” I restrict way more than I ever “binge” but I still purge sometimes through vomit if my guilt is really strong. And the exercise is not extremely obsessive. It’s just until I know the calories are burned off.
   
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Re: Hunger - February 15th 2018, 03:37 PM

Hey there,

When a person has an eating disorder they tend to not really understand hunger cues which can lead to them hardly ever feeling hungry, feeling hungry all the time etc. When I was in treatment for my ED we discussed hunger cues a lot and we were told that because we had been suffering from eating disorders we would have to relearn those cues. One of the ways they did this was by giving us a meal plan with specific exchanges/food groups we needed to eat each day. We also had set times when we would eat even if we were not hungry. As we got further along in treatment we could change things up a bit more instead of following a strict meal plan. This was called intuitive eating and the main goal of my center was to get all of us to a place where we felt comfortable eating intuitively (when we were hungry etc). So, what you are dealing with is normal and it would help if you could talk to a dietitian or get into therapy. However, I know we have recently talked about the difficulties you are having with that and I hope you will be able to find a solution.

In regards to the DSM, technically a binge does have certain guidelines. I am uncertain if you've looked up the definition under the DSM-5 but that is the one you should be looking into. It is also important to note that even if you don't meet the guidelines for a Binge does not mean you can't still feel like you are bingeing. That would be seen more as a subjective binge and it is not an uncommon thing for people with ED's to struggle with because they struggle with their perception pertaining to what counts as a lot of food.

I struggle with EDNOS so I have periods where I over eat but I also have periods where I restrict heavily and still struggle with feeling like I binge whenever I eat more than normal. I think the biggest thing to remember is that if you feel out of control in regards to how much you are eating than it is going to feel like a binge. What you consider a binge might not lead to you being treated for Bingeing, per se, but it is something that would need to be addressed when/if you receive treatment so that you could gain help for all aspects of your eating disorder.

The other thing to note is that there are a lot of different sub-types of eating disorder. I was only made aware of this when I sought treatment and it opened up my eyes to the fact the eating disorders are so much more complicated than I ever knew. I know that understanding your diagnosis can help your treatment team figure out the best approach to helping you.

I know, you currently do not have a counselor who specializes in ED's but my hope is that will change. Please keep talking to your school counselor and let them help you, okay? Remember that you deserve to get treatment and you deserve to get help so that you can get to a better place.

Best regards.


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Re: Hunger - February 15th 2018, 03:56 PM

thank you so much. (yes, i looked at the DSM 5 btw).

I am so tired of everything right now because my dad does not understand and he got so mad at me when I worried about the food when we had dinner last night at some restaurant I didn't want to go to. He knows I have an Eating Disorder but he just tells me to get over. I'm affected by his words more than anyone will ever understand (who hasn't been through it).
I feel so guilty for getting help without his permission because I know I'd be in so much trouble if he knew. I am imagining him watching me as I type this and his reaction would be "oh brother. You need to control yourself! These people are telling me lies". Everything he says just makes me doubt myself and wonder if I really am going crazy.

I don't want to believe that he is verbally abusive but I've been shattered by his ignorance and lack of support from him. Oh yes I know that he "supports me" in regards to love, oh so he says. But I find it hard to say that I love him back.
   
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Re: Hunger - February 15th 2018, 10:16 PM

Hey,

I am sorry that you are dealing with all of this on top of your eating disorder. There are a lot of people who do not understand eating disorders and believe that people can just 'get over it'. Some of these people choose to get educated and others do not. It is unfortunate that your dad is unwilling to try and learn about how eating disorders work.

I think continuing to talk to your school counselor is important. I know you might feel guilty about seeing them behind your dad's back but you shouldn't. Your dad has a responsibility to provide you with medical treatment since you are a minor and he is not doing that. So, you going behind his back and seeking support is a good thing because you aren't completely alone while trying to deal with this.

Verbal abuse can be hard to acknowledge for a lot of reasons. I know that when my mom was being emotionally abusive it was hard to see it as a huge deal because it was just 'words'. The fact is verbal/emotional abuse can be quite harmful to someone's mental health.

If you need anything feel free to let me know.


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