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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Nikkkkki Offline
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Should i tell - May 21st 2018, 12:58 PM

I'm worried about my friend. At school she stopped eating lunch. This has been going on for about 2 months now. All of my other friends are woried too. I asked them if i should tell her parents. Some of them said no because its not my buisnes but others say yes because she could be sick.
Should i tell them or not.
P.s. i kno she has lunch cause i asked her sister.
   
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Re: Should i tell - May 21st 2018, 01:28 PM

Hello,

Have you tried talking to your friend about why she is skipping lunch? While I do find it concerning I think that you should try talking to her about it before going to anyone. I think that if you talk to her and she lies, gets defensive or doesn't start eating lunch then it probably would be best to talk to her parents or talk to the school counselor. I think it's amazing that you are concerned about her. I know that some people are telling you that it's not your business but if your friend is struggling with an eating disorder it's probably a good idea for someone to be made aware so that she can, hopefully, start to get help for it. I admit that if she finds out you talked to her parents she might be upset with you but it's probably better to have her upset with you then to say nothing and have her struggle alone with this in silence.

Wishing you the best.


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Re: Should i tell - May 23rd 2018, 12:21 AM

Hi. I've struggled with eating disorders all my life. Do you know if your friend is eating much at home? Skipping meals is really not a good sign of ones health. Neither mental or physical and lunch is the most noticeable especially when your still in school. I agree with Bibliophile. Talking to her before going to someone else is a good idea, but if it continues not to eat or it gets worse its best to turn to an adult. Eating Disorders are often started by skipping lunch (Take it from me) and its best to try and stop an eating disorder earlier in the process rather then later.
I hope for the best for both you and your friend



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Re: Should i tell - June 11th 2018, 07:09 AM

I think you must tell them before the situation gets worse. It may even lead to Bulimia.
   
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Re: Should i tell - June 27th 2018, 05:32 AM

I would recommend talking to your friend first. It would really suck if you assumed she had an ED, which she might, and went and told her parents and totally caught her off guard. She at least deserves to know your concerned enough to want to talk to her parents.

Also, for all you know, she's going home and eating a bunch of food. That's what happened to me growing up. No need to get into that here though. Point is that her parents might have no idea what's really going on and might be part of the reason that she's not eating at school (e.g. if they're criticizing her body). This is why I think she deserves to have that conversation with you first. Give her a chance to explain what's going on, and see if she's ok or not.

If something is wrong, tell her she needs help and provide resources and offer to talk to her parents WITH her not FOR her. I feel like just bypassing her, if she has an ED, might further disempower and might not ultimately not help her if she feels cornered and like she has no choice. Healing has to be something she's willing to accept, after all, and it would be best to make her feel like she's supported. You could even offer to go with her to talk with a guidance counsellor, therapist, school nurse, nutritionist etc. if she knows what she's doing isn't necessarily healthy but she's scared of getting into trouble with her parents. You could help her research accessible/affordable services.
   
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