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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Abbi22702 Offline
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I was opening up and she RUINED IT! - August 17th 2018, 10:02 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I texted a friend of my mine that I don't actually know (I met her through YouTube and have for around 3 months) and told her about myself harm and everything. She was very accepting and helpful. But then I told another friend...she already knew about the cutting. But I told her about my new obsession with calories and losing weight. She told me, in these EXACT words,
"Stop looking for attention. You're going through a diet or a phase. But I know you are always looking for attention. You are a stupid bitch, not affected by an eating disorder. You're [edited] pounds...you obviously DON'T have an eating disorder."
I'm not sure what to do. But she made it worse. I was opening up and it felt great, until that happened. Now today I'm eating as little as possible...I for some reason can't lose this friendship. Ever. No matter WHAT she does to me, I stick around. And part of me feels guilty that I'm not eating. But I'm just way too upset to eat.
Thanks if you took time to read this, and well wishes!

Last edited by cynefin; August 18th 2018 at 02:19 PM. Reason: Removing weight numbers.
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Re: I was opening up and she RUINED IT! - August 17th 2018, 10:35 PM

So first I want to start of by saying that it is goof that you are opening up to a friend you trust that is a huge step into getting better.

So regarding what your friend said. I can see how it upset you and put you in the mind set of restricting. Most people who don't suffer or have suffered from disordered eating will not get it at all. I want to stress that weight does not matter when it comes to having an eating disorder. I have had an eating disorder at all different sizes, to thin, healthy weight, over weight and obese.

If this friend is causing you to act out in negative ways like self-harm, disordered eating habits then I think it's time to think about letting her go as a friend. I know it sucks and you want to keep the friend, but it seems like she may be a trigger and toxic person in your life you don't need.

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Re: I was opening up and she RUINED IT! - August 17th 2018, 11:40 PM

I agree, someone who calls you out for opening up is not a friend.

But it's awesome you tried. Opening up about it isnt a call for attention, it's saying you realize this is a problem.

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Re: I was opening up and she RUINED IT! - August 18th 2018, 02:20 PM

Abigail, I have moved your thread to the Eating Disorders forum because I feel as though it fits better here.

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Re: I was opening up and she RUINED IT! - August 21st 2018, 01:48 AM

I am proud of you for trying to share with your friend. I am sorry that she reacted how she did, that's horrible and unacceptable behaviour from a friend, especially since being so unkind made matters worse for you. This isn't what a "real" friend does and, honestly, it might be worth telling her you don't want to be friends with her any more because you really do not need friends who are going to call you a bitch and belittle and invalidate you when you try to share about an issue that's negatively impacting your life.

I don't want to detract to much from that, but you also deserve to be healthy. You should consider seeking professional help to address the eating disorder.
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