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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Question I'm not sick enough- Right? - August 20th 2018, 05:39 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I know I have a ED, but I just can't bring myself to ask for help, as I think I'm not sick enough, but some people have told me I'm sick enough...... I mean, I'm bulimic, of course, and I B/P multiple times a day, I constantly freak out about calories and fat and whatnot about food, I have this fucking obsession with drawing skeletons with skin (basically), but through all this, and my obsession to be thin, I can't ask for help. The other day, I worked up the nerve to tell my mum, "I think I have an unhealthy relationship with food......" and all she said was, "No, you stop once you're full." But I gorge myself until I vomit, then I vomit it all up. I need some help, but I can't get it while I'm here...... I'm just not sick enough, I guess.
   
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Re: I'm not sick enough- Right? - August 20th 2018, 06:53 PM

Hey,
Reaching out on here is a good first step.

I know you say you don't think you are sick enough, but that is just your eating disorder brain telling you that so you don't get help. It doesn't matter how much you weight, or how much you purge, or B/P. Even if you are doing it once a day that is still too much and you should get help.

It was a good first step that you told your mom that you think you have an unhealthy relationship with food. I think if you are willing I would bring up the subject again and actually tell her that you are B/P and purging up your food after you eat. I would also ask her if you can get a therapist if you don't have one already. If you don't feel comfortable talking to her in person maybe you could write her a letter and set it some place you know she will read it. If you do you have one I would bring it up to them, and see if they can help and if not they may refer you to a therapist that specializes in eating disorders.

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Re: I'm not sick enough- Right? - August 21st 2018, 01:29 AM

I think it is very important that you are reaching out. I am sorry that your mom was so dismissive of your issues! That's not very fair of her. However, is she aware of how serious it is or have you been trying to hide the extent of the issue from her?

I don't believe that getting help for an eating disorder should be categorized as "bad enough to get help" and "not bad enough to get help". I see/hear this a lot with eating disorders because I feel like so much of it is based on your physical health; a lot of the times, you hear of someone's teeth being destroyed by it or they're passing out due to lack of food or they're hospitalized due to the malnourishment or their period stopped etc. And obviously that's terrible. But at any point in time where you are experiencing an eating disorder or disordered behaviour and thinking around food and body image (e.g. body dysmorphia) it is bad enough, you don't need to wait for it to physically destroy you for it's negative impacts on your life to be valid, it's already impacting you negatively and your experience is negative. This tendency we have to always be judging if our suffering (or even our happiness) is "enough" is very detrimental to people like us.

You're mom shouldn't be invalidating you. But it sounds like other people are worried about you so listen to their voices instead. Many communities have amazing resources you can access and you can access other resources online too. Please strongly consider what resources you can access in your community. I would start with a therapist and nutritionist and possibly your family doctor if that is available to you because you might want to get blood work done in order to ensure you're not deficient in any nutrients as a result of the purging because being deficient in nutrients such as vitamin D, B12, iron, and so forth can cause some pretty serious issues. A therapist can help you with managing the behaviours and thinking (e.g. by providing coping tactics, addressing underlying issues, etc.). A nutritionist can help you get back on track with your diet. Try to get a nutritionist and therapist who specializes in eating disorders.
   
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