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Exclamation The game plan - October 4th 2018, 02:01 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I talked to my dietician today. She is very worried about me and I have all these health problems. At the end of our conversation, she was very clear with me that the only possibilities from my current state of restriction is that I am either hospitalized or die. This is extremely scary but I just canít stop laughing. My brain processes these things by laughter and I always feel bad because itís not funny.

I also experience a lot of symptoms of an underfed brain such as derealization and just changes in mood and attitude towards recovery. I am clearly very sick. Since I canít go to a treatment center right away due to financial reasons, we have to come up with a game plan for accountability. I have to have someone eat with me for every meal including breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. I am terrified and really donít want to be forced to eat. But I have to apparently. Itís frustrating but I know they just want to help me. Someone please just tell me everything will be okay. Does anyone else have experience with recovery that might be helpful? I just want to ease my anxiety about it all.
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Noire Offline
When is the future?
Jeez, get a life!
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Name: Jordan
Age: 28
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Re: The game plan - October 4th 2018, 03:46 AM

I'm glad you've decided to go to treatment but I'm very concerned by the fact you have to wait. Are scholarships not an option? I know there are some places that will work with your finances. I think it's important that you get in as soon as possible, considering your deteriorating health condition.

I would suggest trying not to think of it as being forced to eat because, in reality, it's not. It's a choice you're making. Yes, it's an extreme choice (stay sick or die), but it's still a choice. You're choosing health and life, and I am really proud of you for that. It's really scary, but I promise it will be okay. Recovery from ED is possible, and it sounds like you have a wonderful team backing you up, and you always have us here. I know it sounds canned and unhelpful, but really, trust the process. Your team knows what they're doing, and you're right; they're trying to help. It's okay to need, want, and accept help.

Good luck, and PM me if you need anything.

Love joins
Love unites
Love breaks us apart
The power to conquer here in our hearts
Enduring and sacred
Eternal as time
For love, love alone will conquer all

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