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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Exclamation The game plan - October 4th 2018, 02:01 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I talked to my dietician today. She is very worried about me and I have all these health problems. At the end of our conversation, she was very clear with me that the only possibilities from my current state of restriction is that I am either hospitalized or die. This is extremely scary but I just canít stop laughing. My brain processes these things by laughter and I always feel bad because itís not funny.

I also experience a lot of symptoms of an underfed brain such as derealization and just changes in mood and attitude towards recovery. I am clearly very sick. Since I canít go to a treatment center right away due to financial reasons, we have to come up with a game plan for accountability. I have to have someone eat with me for every meal including breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. I am terrified and really donít want to be forced to eat. But I have to apparently. Itís frustrating but I know they just want to help me. Someone please just tell me everything will be okay. Does anyone else have experience with recovery that might be helpful? I just want to ease my anxiety about it all.
   
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Re: The game plan - October 4th 2018, 03:46 AM

I'm glad you've decided to go to treatment but I'm very concerned by the fact you have to wait. Are scholarships not an option? I know there are some places that will work with your finances. I think it's important that you get in as soon as possible, considering your deteriorating health condition.

I would suggest trying not to think of it as being forced to eat because, in reality, it's not. It's a choice you're making. Yes, it's an extreme choice (stay sick or die), but it's still a choice. You're choosing health and life, and I am really proud of you for that. It's really scary, but I promise it will be okay. Recovery from ED is possible, and it sounds like you have a wonderful team backing you up, and you always have us here. I know it sounds canned and unhelpful, but really, trust the process. Your team knows what they're doing, and you're right; they're trying to help. It's okay to need, want, and accept help.

Good luck, and PM me if you need anything.


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