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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Thumbs up I've finally found passion again!!!! - November 19th 2018, 06:47 PM

Some of you know that I've struggled with atypical anorexia for several years. It's been a battle and my recent relapse got me down the hardest it ever has before. My brain and body were suffering so much to the point that I stopped caring, my personality was gone, and I went through manic-like states of grandiosity and my brain just quit working properly. But I have to say something. I finally found my passion for life again!!!! I have more important things to do with my life than restrict calories. I write songs that help people. I have such a bright future ahead of me that I can't waste it on something that has and would destroy me. It's not worth it anymore. A few week ago, I began to eat every meal again. My dietician wanted to send me to a treatment center because it was critical that I get re-fed ASAP. My last session, she said that she was not willing to work with me if I wasn't willing to work. I wasn't even trying because I didn't care. People were supposed to be holding me accountable with food and I manipulated the process by finding ways to avoid the food. I denied food and I denied that it was a problem so one of my teachers gave up on me too because I was being "too difficult". A part of me felt accomplished by staying "in-control". I was in such a dark place and I wanted to kill myself.
But everything changed. I have finally found passion again. Life is amazing. I just want to say that it always gets better and never give up okay? My dietician said it was almost impossible for someone like me to get back on the meal plan once the eating disorder has this much power. But I proved her wrong. And that feels dang good to say!!!

Thanks for everyone's support. I really appreciate all of you!!!!
   
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Re: I've finally found passion again!!!! - November 20th 2018, 01:45 AM

Hey,
I know how much you have struggled with your anorexia, but I am so glad that you have found your will to live again. I am so happy to hear you talk about how much you want to do,and how you write songs that will help people. If you ever need to talk, or feel like going down that path again we are all here for you

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Frankie<3


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Re: I've finally found passion again!!!! - November 20th 2018, 02:46 AM

That’s great! I know how much you’ve been struggling and it must have been so hard to get out of that hole, so I’m really proud of you. I hope things continue going well for you!


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Re: I've finally found passion again!!!! - November 20th 2018, 03:14 AM

Thanks Frankie and Raven. I really appreciate your replies.
   
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Re: I've finally found passion again!!!! - November 20th 2018, 03:28 AM

I know I’ve helped you when you were struggling, so seeing this makes me super happy! Keep your head up! I believe in you.



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Re: I've finally found passion again!!!! - November 20th 2018, 12:21 PM

I know you've struggled a lot with an eating disorder and it's truly fantastic to see how well you are doing with your meal plans and finding a passion in life to keep you going! Well done!


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Re: I've finally found passion again!!!! - November 21st 2018, 03:31 PM

I am so happy for you, Cheyenne! You've always had amazing passion and I am glad you've found it again, especially after struggling for so long. Way to go!


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