TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Sapphire Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Sapphire's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Uk

Posts: 28
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: January 23rd 2009

I give up. - January 23rd 2009, 02:46 PM

Iíve had issues now for 2 years. Iíve gone from restricting completely to binging and purging, and something in between the two and now I feel like Iíve hit some kind of wall. The reality of what my life has become how much this revolves around everything. I donít feel like I want to change though because Iíve lived like this for so long, going round in circles all the time, but itís become my life and it controls everything; without this I have nothing. I have no real friends anymore, I donít want to let people into my world I donít want people to know how much I struggle with this. Even tonight I was invited to go out for a meal for my friends 18th but I didnít because I wouldnít be able to do that. I canít eat in front of people it makes me anxious to the extent that I feel like crying, imagining what all the people around me would think of me eating. I take laxatives on a regular basis, have done for over a year now, more so now than I have before. Iíve been purging blood for awhile now, about 8 months or something on and off, my chest hurts if I exercise too much, or sometimes when Iím not doing anything at all. Iíve taught myself to be able to bring food back up without using my fingers to bring it back up (but it isnít as effective.) All these things make me feel wrong, what Iím doing I know itís wrong but itís my life. Itís how I work and how I survive.
I did let a friend in awhile ago, but not properly and I didnít tell them the full picture but I didnít feel comfortable having someone know those things. I understood that she didnít know what to do, who would know what to do to help someone like that?
Since then it made things more awkward and drifted apart, there isnít anyone else I would confide in about this. Telling my family is a no go, I donít even want to imagine what theyíd think or say about it, we donít have that good a relationship with each other. Iíll be going to university in September, turning 18 this year and I donít know if the part of me thatís scared of how much independence Iíll have there is being overpowered by my urge to go. Not a day goes by where I wish I was at university already, how much easier thing would become to drift away from the world so I could just disappear. I donít know what I want from this, I guess I just want support and someone to tell me that I have something to fight for. I donít know if I want help, I find it hard asking for help, did it once and got nowhere I just want to feel ok.

Last edited by Sapphire; January 23rd 2009 at 05:24 PM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
glittermist Offline
Modal Soul
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
glittermist's Avatar
 
Name: Lisa
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: London UK.

Posts: 861
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I give up. - January 24th 2009, 06:15 PM

Hi there!
I'm really pleased you've posted, actually - as you say you don't know if you want help; but i think deep down you know you need help, hence this very informative post.
It's a good sign; as you recognise that you have problems and you know that these problems are obstructing your way of life.

The thing you need to fight for? YOUR LIFE! You just don't realise how amazing, wonderful, beautiful - your life could actually be without this horrible ED. It doesn't have to be the only thing in your life that gives you a sense of control. You're nearly 18, you have the rest of your life ahead of you, you will encounter many things in this time and if you continue to let your ED win; well..you're never going to experience any of this.
Uni is a great starting point to just turn everything around. I know it's easier said than done, especially since you've been struggling for SO long - but where there is a will, there is a way. People have done this, come through the other side of their EDS and although they still have to live with their thoughts about it; they are still able to lead a relatively normal life. You can do this too, you just need to be WILLING to fight this....everyday is going to be a huge battle but if you have a certain desire to further yourself in life(by this i mean, get the career you want after Uni..etc) then you will somehow find it within yourself to wean your way out of your ED.

TALK to someone, anyone....just don't suffer with this alone anymore, as let me tell you...feeling like you're alone just eats you up(excuse the pun), and you tell yourself you don't need anyone else but in actual fact you do. It's human nature to rely on other humans; there is only so much we can take being independent before we start to realise we need someone else to help us cope.

Your family will notice something is up before long, what if something serious happens and you end up in hospital due to vomitting blood...i'm sorry but 8 months is such a long time and your esophagus is no doubt extremely damaged by now! You need help before your overall health rapidly declines.

x


& it's just like she's in another world.
[<3]


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Sapphire Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Sapphire's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Uk

Posts: 28
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: January 23rd 2009

Re: I give up. - January 29th 2009, 09:45 AM

Thanks for your reply, it really means a lot to have someone listen and respond like that..thanks.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
glittermist Offline
Modal Soul
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
glittermist's Avatar
 
Name: Lisa
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: London UK.

Posts: 861
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I give up. - January 29th 2009, 06:08 PM

You're most welcome! If i helped just a tiny bit, then you'll have me grinning like this,
S'what i'm here for, always willing to listen, anytime!
P/M me if you like, or update me via this thread; because i'd definitely like to know how you get on.
X


& it's just like she's in another world.
[<3]


   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
give

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.