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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Buffie-92 Offline
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Name: Bridget
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Exclamation confused.. - February 28th 2010, 08:01 PM

I've always questioned my health. I've always kind of a hypochondriac, but I know for sure I'm an emotional eater and I self-harm.
I just don't know if I have an eating disorder or not
I try not to eat that much in a day (no breakfast, light lunch, light dinner) but it never works I always always always end up binging right after school and then I'll have a huge dinner and feel disgusting and guilty and just like I failed myself...
I don't want to be fat like my mom and brother and family, I want to be thin and normal and pretty!
so I sometimes make myself throw up. I hate it, but I hate my weight more
I've been really depressed lately and cutting and dizzy and sick and I just don't know what to do
I just want help with whatever is going on in my head

but these are days we dream about
when the sunlight paints us gold
and this apartment could not be prettier
as we danced up there alone..

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Jen Offline
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Re: confused.. - February 28th 2010, 08:17 PM

Hey Bridget,

The truth is, whether what you have is a diagnosed eating disorder or not, is kind of irrelevant. What we DO know is that you are having clear and serious struggles with food and body image and your thinking patterns. THAT is what matters.

A quick note on binging: the more you restrict, the more likely you are to end up binging. I know that it seems like it makes sense to eat less so that if you binge it won't matter, but it's flawed thinking. The reason your body binges is because it finally reaches its breaking point--it's starving and hasn't been given enough food. So, it basically tells you, "Feed me! Give me as much food as you can because I don't trust you that you'll feed me again for a very long time!" And then you binge. However, if you eat small, frequent meals, your body will calm down, and it won't go into that panic mode, because it will learn to trust that you WILL feed it again soon. So you won't end up binging. Does that make sense?

If you are eating that way, with mostly healthy foods, and getting moderate exercise, your weight should be just fine. Our bodies are programmed to level off where they belong, as long as we're taking care of them. If you are very concerned, it's always okay to see a doctor and check in with them about how much you should be eating, how much you should weigh, etc.

Try focusing on things that you like and things that make you happy. The more you can take the focus off of your body and onto the things you like, the better.

Hang in there, Bridget. It gets better!

"Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”

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Casey. Offline
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Re: confused.. - February 28th 2010, 10:24 PM

Hey Bridget,

First off, the word normal, well there isn't really a normal. Nothing is normal, and pretty is just an opinion. I mean that, don't strive to be like everyone else, just be yourself.

Have you thought that maybe you are not overeating? Maybe you are just making up for the restricting at dinner? Restricting often leads to binging because if your denying yourself food, and then putting food in front of yourself. The only way to stop the pattern, is to stop restricting, and slowly work on eating three to six small meals a day. Six small meals is recommended, as it keep you from feeling hungry and it is healthier than three large meals.

Have you tried to tell anyone about the things going on in your head, like the eating and the self harm? Don't keep it all inside, tell someone, a teacher, your school counselor, or even your mum. You don't have to do this alone.

Just hang in there, and if you need anything, feel free to pm me.

She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.

Smile through the tears.

PM me

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