Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
jiggi Offline
Not a n00b
jiggi's Avatar
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 62
Join Date: March 10th 2009

I need advice on how to help - March 13th 2010, 08:28 PM

I recently found out my little cousin isn't eating. She's 14, and her mum is very overweight. Through her whole life, her mum has been obsessed with diets and calorie counting, and we think that might be the reason.

She hasn't said anything about it, and her mum is scared to ask her about it. She'll eat a little with encouragement, but not much, and not often.
My aunt first realised when her school contacted her saying the money she had paid for the term of school dinners hadn't been used for a few months, so we don't know how long its gone on for, but she's very thin.

I wanted to know what's the best way of dealing with this? I'll be seeing her next weekend, and she used to always look up to me, and wanted to be like me, so I was hoping maybe I might be able to use that to help her.

But should we ask her about it? Warn her of the risks? Or just continue trying to encourage her to eat?

Any advice would be very helpful.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Em... Offline
smile; it looks good on you.
Experienced TeenHelper
Em...'s Avatar
Name: E
Gender: Other

Posts: 634
Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: I need advice on how to help - March 13th 2010, 11:09 PM

Hey Jiggi,
I think it's just fabulous to hear that you're concerned for her. Questions like these are so heartfelt.
I think that you should definitely confront her about this. It seems to be a big problem and it's something that needs to be talked about.
Maybe take her to lunch or have dinner alone with her and ask her why she's not eating. Then start the conversation off from there. Tell her the risks of not eating. Remind her that eating is a natural thing a human does and that it's vital to live.
If that tactic of talking to her doesn't work, then I would suggest 'scaring her' for example, tell her that if she doesn't start working on this she will have to be hospitalised, and show her pictures of those who continued down the path she's started. It's a bit harsh but tell her people die from what she's doing.
She needs to confronted with this sooner or later. Keep encouraging her to eat as well, but keep in mind what the consequences could be. Don't hesitate to get her help, it sounds like this has been going on a lot and that it might not be such a bad idea to do that.
I hope she'll listen to you. Seeing how you say she looks up to you, I'm sure you will be the best person to get this message across. Please take care of yourself, and your cousin, she needs someone right now I'm sure. Good luck mate.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Casey. Offline
Dance with me
I can't get enough
Casey.'s Avatar
Name: Casey
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere in my mind

Posts: 2,343
Blog Entries: 337
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I need advice on how to help - March 14th 2010, 06:28 AM

Hey there.

I don't suggest scaring her. I think you should just try talking to her, talk to her like she's one of your peers, like an adult. Don't talk down to her. Just ask her why she's not eating, and if there's anything that you can do to help. Keep asking her questions, but be calm and cool about it, and let her know that you just care and that you are worried about her. You could always take her shopping or out to eat, and just chat with her. Keep encouraging her to eat, let her know that it's okay to eat, and tell her how beautiful she is, just the way she is. She doesn't need someone to nag, but she could probably use a friend.

Take care.

She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.

Smile through the tears.

PM me

  Send a message via Yahoo to Casey.  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
WillO'Wisp Offline
I've been here a while
WillO'Wisp's Avatar
Gender: Other

Posts: 1,715
Join Date: December 31st 2009

Re: I need advice on how to help - March 14th 2010, 09:09 PM

Perhaps you should talk to her about this and ask her if there's anything she would want to talk about with you, maybe you could help. Sometimes just knowing someone cares and is concerned can go a long way.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
emma01 Offline
Hello :D
I've been here a while
emma01's Avatar
Name: Emma
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: New Zealand

Posts: 1,386
Join Date: October 5th 2009

Re: I need advice on how to help - March 17th 2010, 05:12 AM

Hey, its always hard to know what to do when in this position, but if she is starving herself it is really dangerous and something does need to be done. I think you could either talk to her, or just offer her some food (just infront of you and her) and if she turns it down you could just ask her if she is okay and that you have noticed changes. I wouldn't take her out to a restaurant or anything though, because that might make her really anxious, and most people with eating disorders don't like to be confronted with a big plate of food.
I hope all goes well for you and her
Closed Thread



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.