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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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food trouble - April 8th 2010, 06:30 PM

this week i have really realised how bad ive got with food, ive been at college most of this week, and ive been hanging around with group of girls who like to eat, at lunch we have been going to a cafe and they order chips/fries i did aswell but i only ever manage to eat about a third maybe less so today i thought okay why i dont order a small portion of chips for myself maybe i can eat them all, i ate about ten chips, and the others all cleared there bowls. i just dont feel normal, i know im not normal i cant even finish my small portion of chips, and i wanted to eat more but i kept getting this voice in my head telling me no put the fork down and stop. im scared im getting worse i cant even talk to anyone at home i feel like such a freak help! the bowl of chips was tiny and my friends at college are begining to notice i aint eating enough, and when they ask me why i tell them im fat they tell me theres nothing of you what you on about, but i tell them im fat. after the chips i thought i mgiht be able to buy an ice lollie so i bought one had about 5 bites and then voice came back and was telling me threw it away throw it away throw it away. so i did. i feel like such a freak help please. am i going crazy and how can i make the voice go ???



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Last edited by Jen; April 9th 2010 at 01:44 AM. Reason: Removed trigger warning
   
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Re: food trouble - April 9th 2010, 01:43 AM

You're definitely NOT crazy. People with EDs often get stuck with the healthy part of them arguing with the ED part of them, which sounds like what you are describing. When that happens, just try not to let the ED part of you win. Decide that it can talk and talk but you won't listen. Kind of like a pesky person trying to get your attention! You can ignore it. Sometimes it even helps to say out loud "STOP!" or "Shut up!" to that ED part (I used to do that!).

You CAN eat. You CAN listen to the healthy part of you--I believe you can. If you can't talk to anyone at home, is there anyone at college you could talk to? A teacher, counselor, etc? Find someone who will listen to you and talk. Someone will help you.

Hang in there--you can do this!
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Re: food trouble - April 9th 2010, 08:44 AM

i'm going to try to talk my tutor at college next week on tuesday. i eat but i never manage to finish my plate or whats in front of me. bank holiday monday was hard, i was at a pub and it was a 3 course meal, i made my order, and just forced it down because half my family was there.



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Re: food trouble - April 9th 2010, 07:41 PM

Hey! I know how you feel! I can eat almost normally now, but if its not very healthy I still have that voice telling me DON'T! Then I start eating (for example a biscuit) but i cannot finish because the voice just tells me no! Its really annoying, and I still havent found a way to make the voice go away, i just have to try and ignore it, and anyone with an eating disorder will know that its not always easy.
   
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Re: food trouble - April 10th 2010, 09:13 AM

its only this week ive had the voice, in the cafe its louder its almost screaming at me no. i want to finish a small portion of chips. last night at home was awwful my dad had been fish and chip shop and had bought home chips for everyone.. my sister came up and said 'lydia chips' i turend round from my laptop and said no thanks, i was tired and the voice was telling me no so i couldnt be bothered to try and fight it, and then my dad cooked pizza so i had 2 slices, and then my dad put another slice on my plate and the voice was saying no no, i told my dad im not hungry 2 was enough for me. but he told me eat it, i picked the topping off for a little while, it took me 15 minuets to eat a tiny slither of pizza.



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Re: food trouble - April 10th 2010, 09:28 AM

Unfortunately thats what happens with eating disorders, its harder to actually eat then a lot of people who have never had an ED think.
   
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