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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Healthy diet? Is it possible - April 18th 2010, 04:17 PM

I've struggled with my eating since i was about 10 or 11, going through stages of worse and better. But i'm always body conscious, always skip meals. And until the last 6 months, where i've been really trying to stop, have continously purged. However, my weight always stays roughly the same- due to binging then purging.

I've used all my self-control to stop the binge/purging and i've finally succeeded- though how long it will last i dont know. But for the moment i've done it.

However, summers coming. And i'm still so depressed about my weight. Everyday i look in the mirror, i cry. I cant find clothes to wear, everythign makes me look and feel so fat and ugly.

So I want to diet. Lose weight for summer. But i dont know how to. I mean, of course eat healthy and excercise. But i'm scared, that it will shove me straight back to where i've come from. Because, i still see my self in the same light.

I dont know what to do. I cant go through summer looking like this. But i'm scared. Is it possible to lose weight healthily, whilst struggling with an ED


   
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Re: Healthy diet? Is it possible - April 18th 2010, 05:14 PM

Firstly well done for overcoming the purging.

My advice would be to see a doctor, and tell him that you would like to maintain a healthy diet and excersize what are the best ways to go about it. He/she should already know about the ED and should be able to help you to become what you feel isnt fat.

But to me you look perfectly normal and healthy but I'm not you.





   
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Re: Healthy diet? Is it possible - April 18th 2010, 05:41 PM

Hey Maia,

I believe that answer to your question is no. It is not possible to diet while struggling from an ED--it just isn't going to work. You will become obsessive about it again and most likely turn to binging and purging once again. It's almost like how it wouldn't be possible for a recovering alcoholic to go to a bar with friends. It's setting yourself up for failure and that's not what you want.

My question is, would it be healthy for your body to lose weight? That is, would a doctor recommend you to lose weight? If so, that's one thing. But if not, it's still the disordered thinking going on, where you don't need to lose weight but think you do. So to clear it all up, I'd see a doctor, if you can. If the doctor tells you that your body would be healthiest if you lost some weight, then ask the doctor for help on doing so without regressing to your eating disorder behaviors. But if the doctor tells you that your weight is in a healthy range already, then you don't need to lose weight--and it's your body image that you need to work on. Therapy is good for that, so I'd encourage you to seek out a therapist of some kind if you can.

Hang in there, Maia--you've come so far, and you will continue to make progress!
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Re: Healthy diet? Is it possible - April 19th 2010, 08:35 AM

I cant speak to the doctors. They dont understand. They say i'm fine, that gaining weight is good for me. But i cant do it. I just want to loose a little. For sumer. So that i can feel pretty, be happy. But i dont know how to properly. All i've ever known is complete restrictions, purging, binging. I cant stand looking like I do.


   
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Re: Healthy diet? Is it possible - April 19th 2010, 03:08 PM

Maia,

If a doctor says that you don't need to lose weight, and even need to gain weight, then losing weight is disordered action/desire. Regardless of HOW you were to lose the weight, it would still be engaging in your eating disorder at this point. I promise you--it would not be possible for you to just lose "a little" weight. You know it doesn't work like that. You'd want to lose more and more, and you still wouldn't be happy--that's how EDs work. And even if it was possible to lose a bit of weight and then stop-- it would be unhealthy and disordered.

Are you seeing a therapist at the moment? If not, I'd really think about getting in touch with one. They can really help....you CAN get to a point where you don't feel the need to lose weight, and actually like how you look. I promise you that.

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“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”

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Re: Healthy diet? Is it possible - April 21st 2010, 02:57 AM

Maia,

I'm with Jen on this one. It's not possible to diet healthily while you are struggling with an eating disorder, it's just a bad idea. If your doctor says you don't need to lose weight, then any way you try to, even if it is healthy, will be engaging in your eating disorder still. I know it's extremely hard to accept your body the way it is, but you really are beautiful just as you are. Losing a 'little' bit of weight will not make you feel pretty, you know it won't be enough. You'll want to keep losing more and more. I've been there, and it's really not pretty, so why go back there?

Talk to someone, please. Talk to your doctor, they will understand if you tell them you have an eating disorder, or talk to a counselor. Counselors can help you, and they can help you learn to accept yourself for who you are.

Just hang in there Maia.


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