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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Elle
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Not particularly a disorder as such - April 24th 2010, 01:05 PM

I was at my heaviest weight I've ever been last year and it severely upset me. I decided that for the first time in my life I would introduce exercise into my lifestyle in an effort to get fit. I decided also that I would half my food portions (I don't know how much I can say in this area so feel free to edit if found to be inappropriate) and make an effort to only eat 50% of my RDA. I have a pretty samey same diet.. one weetabix for breakfast every day, one slice of toast with one egg for lunch every day and then a small dinner every day. I lost weight. I became a dress size that I haven't been for 6 years. I was over the moon. I had at least 3 people mention on a daily basis how slim I was, how great I looked etc. It was a buzz.

Here is the problem. Staying slim has become an obsession of mine. I recently returned home to my parents for three weeks for the holidays (I attend university a few hours away) and they've attempted to fatten me up. I have gained weight.. not a substantial amount but enough that right now I feel sick. I am terrified of eating the dinner my mum is cooking me tonight. I feel a little faint right now actually and a little shaky.

I'm going to join the gym this week and I plan to return to my normal eating habits of 50% of my RDA but to be honest this all scares me.
I am terrified of gaining weight, I am obsessed with losing it. I never used to exercise and when I was big, it never bothered me all that much. It was just reaching an all time high that upset me.

I know a girl who is just as obsessed with weight as I have become except that a year ago when I met her and noted her obsessions, i thought her to be weird and slightly crazy. She didn't eat carbs and she was obsessed with monitoring what she ate. She was thinner than me but constantly referred to herself as fat. I thought she was being ridiculous and obviously had a disorder of some kind.

Now I've become her, I wonder whether people think the same of me.

I need to know how to beat this obsession.. how to be comfortable with weight fluctuations.. I don't know how far this obsession will go.

Last edited by Jen; April 24th 2010 at 04:19 PM. Reason: Removing trigger warning.
   
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Re: Not particularly a disorder as such - April 24th 2010, 03:11 PM

You need to take it step by step. Calm down, and think.

I can't say whether this is an eating disorder or not because I'm not professional, but I'd say it's an unhealthy eating habit. By halfing what you used to normally eat, you could be damaging your body. Instead of doing this, have you thought about a balanced diet with exercise?

If you're worried about the weight you have put on at your mum's, then don't try to loose it all straight away, as this can be dangerous. Step by step, as i said. What you need to do is have a sit down with your doctor, and talk through this. He/she will be able to give a better way to beat this.

Eating disorders are not nice, believe me! So it's good that you have started to notice a pattern with your eating habbits, and you could potentially move on from this.

I would say your best option would be talking to the doctor, or friends or family. They are the ones who know you best, and could really help you.

Hope this helps.


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Re: Not particularly a disorder as such - April 24th 2010, 09:04 PM

Hey there,

I cannot tell you whether or not this is an Eating disorder but I can tell you what I have learned while I was in treatment.

Firstly, no food is good or bad for you. Any type of food eaten in moderation is okay for you. No matter what others say or what the television said there is no 'bad' food. A dietitian told me this. I didn't believe her for the longest time and I still have trouble with it.

As for the amount of food you are eating on a daily basis; it doesn't sound like it is a substantial amount. It doesn't sound like you have enough protein, starch, veggies, fruits and dairy. That is not good at all.

As for the weight you have gained at your parents it might be due to a lot of different factors. For example, our bodies have a weight that they are naturally meant to be at. Our bodies get to this point where they reach a state of equilibrium and that is where we are healthiest. So, in doing what you have been doing you might have gotten your body all out of whack and now that you are eating a little better your body might be gaining that equilibrium back and it might be getting to where it needs to be healthy.

If that is not the case you could have distorted image of yourself and you might not have even gained weight. You might think you feel it in the way your clothes fit or whatever but it might not be true. I have problems with this all the time.

Lastly, you might have gained a little weight but that does not have to be the end of the world and you do not have to go to drastic measures to lose it.

Now, if you are really worried about your body weight why don't you go to a dietitian? They will help get you on a meal plan that will help you get to the weight you need to be to be at optimum health. And they will give you some support.

One other thing that I think you should consider doing is going to a therapist. They can help you through this and give you a lot of support. I know you might not think that you need one but it really does help. Also going to a therapist might help you out and keep you from getting to a really bad point.

When it comes to Disordered Eating you do not want to mess with it. Because in no time it can become in eating disorder. And sometimes we have eating disorders and don't realize it until someone who is objective points it out to us.

Please seek help so that this does not get worse.

If you need anything do not hesitate to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: Not particularly a disorder as such - April 25th 2010, 05:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Jenna~ View Post

Firstly, no food is good or bad for you. Any type of food eaten in moderation is okay for you. No matter what others say or what the television said there is no 'bad' food. A dietitian told me this. I didn't believe her for the longest time and I still have trouble with it.
I have been told the EXACT same!!!! Its not what you eat - it is how much!! I still have trouble believing this too, but it is true!

Back to original post....I would like to say that it is good you realised your lifestyle was maybe not the healthiest, and you lost weight and looked an felt better, but you have to be careful you dont fall into the trap of obsession, which seems to be where you are heading.
It seems like you aren't getting enough food into you, which means you will be constantly hungry and constantly thinking about food, leading to obsession, well thats how I feel it works. You aren't doing your body any good and it's just going to make life so much harder. It is good to be aware of what is a healthy lifestyle, but to a small extent, when it starts taking over your life, then there is a problem.
You say you've gained weight, well our weight fluctuates constantly because of hormones and fluid retention, but that weight isn't fat, and it all comes off the next day. So you probably haven't gained any fat, and I can assure you you wont look any different!
I dont know what advice to offer, other that just be careful, please! Eating disorders are not fun, and not good to mess with.
   
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Re: Not particularly a disorder as such - April 26th 2010, 10:14 AM

Thankyou for the advice guys, I think the best thing to do is probably have a chat with my doctor or something.
   
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