I really hate myself.

[Cabron]

I can't look at myself without feeling sick, ashamed and disgusted. My thighs wiggle when I walk, none of my jeans fit like they used to, I feel like I'm starting to get a 'muffin top'. I'm so sick and tired of being huge.

Every time I try to diet I can't stick to it and I end up binging. I'm envious of all the girls who can just go without food. I'm not that strong. I could purge, but that never helps anything. I'm stuck in this vacuum of fat. Right now, I'm a prisoner of my own body.

[Celestial.]

Hey.

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like that. Do you know what made you feel like this? Did someone say something that made you feel self-conscious, for example?

You probably know what I'm going to say, but is there anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling?

Take care.
xx

[Cabron]

No, nothing really. In fact, everyone says I'm really skinny. But when I look in the mirror, all I see is the things I mentioned above. It's really frustrating. As for people I can talk to, there's my counselor, but I don't feel that comfortable talking to her about this. :/

[Celestial.]

If you don't feel comfortable talking to your counsellor, what about a friend or someone like that?

To me it sounds like your problem stems from low self-esteem. Even though other people, and even perhaps the facts, say one thing (in this case, a positive thing), you believe something different (something negative). I'd recommend trying some simple self-esteem exercises, like standing in front of the mirror and saying something like 'I am strong and beautiful and loved the way I am', or having a list of things you like about yourself and look at that when the negative feelings kick in.

[Megan09]

Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and you hardly sound overweight! You sound perfect. However, if you're worried about your weight, the best thing you can do is just apply yourself to a healthy food plan.