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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Question What Triggered Your ED?? - May 1st 2010, 04:06 PM

For me, it was something my brother said to me. We have a wooden bunkbed at my grandparents house and it isn't very stable so sometimes the board that holds it up falls and one day my brother said "My wonder why. You're so fat!" It REALLY upsey me because at that time I had a fluffy dead thinking 'I'm fat' and that just killed me inside. I felt like he drove a dagger through my heart and from that day which was when I was in grade 8. I "knew" that I was fat. I actually never started restricting until the year after because growing up food has always been a part of my life. And now, it's like I almost can't stop well, except for a few binges I've done. But on the good news, I don't purge. Mostly because I can't handle throwing up. It just is too gross for me. But since I binged last night I am planning to go to the gym near my house and work out for a few hours. That'll make me feel better about myself. So, what triggered your ED??


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Re: What Triggered Your ED?? - May 1st 2010, 04:32 PM

I did a cross country run when I was 10, I realised how much larger I was than other people. I struggled with eating when my mother died, too. It's not always that I look at myself and think that I'm 'fat', it's more that I'm not deserving of nourishment because I feel so useless and insignificant. I don't deserve it, so it's a mixture, I guess.
   
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Re: What Triggered Your ED?? - May 1st 2010, 06:58 PM

I can't ever really remember a time when I didn't feel fat. In Elementary school about 2nd or 3rd grade kids would tease me relentlessly because I was 'fat'. But, I look back at my school photos and I wasn't fat I was just in puberty and had developed breasts.

But, their teasing didn't help. My brother always made comments about me being fat as well. So I guess those two things were triggers. Although I think the biggest trigger was my molestation.


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Re: What Triggered Your ED?? - May 1st 2010, 09:02 PM

Well, I've had messed-up eating cycles on and off since I was around 8 or 9. I guess the big trigger was my oldest brother always saying I was fat. Even when I was technically underweight (only by a very small amount), he still told me I was fat.

I've gone through many starvation periods, I have also taken acetaminophen or ibuprofen as substitutes to eating, so my stomach wouldn't make noise. Still occasionally do. But more commonly now, I just, am pretty much never hungry. If I am, I eat a small meal. I think I've shrunk my stomach bunches. And if I feel like I've eaten too much, my body won't accept it. I have to puke it up, to get rid of the pukey feeling.
   
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Re: What Triggered Your ED?? - May 2nd 2010, 04:53 AM

Well my mum had been telling me for months i need to cut down on the junk... I was eatin a lot. I was never fat though, but i saw a picture of myself and &!?@& i looked HORRIBLE, something had to be done, so i cut down the food i ate, i lost some weight, people were commenting and that jut pushed me further! I could actually do something well! The feeling of control is unexplainable! Its so great! That kept me going, until i became unhealthy, doctors, dieticians and stupid counsellors goy involved, then i hated it... But couldnt actually eat, id panic. I almost broke down in couplands because there was a sample of slice and i wanted it SO bad but i couldnt!!! I left the shop and bawled my eyes out in the car!!! Now, a few months on...i am eating muffins an cake and chocolate again!!! I am not eating enough of it to gain weight, ive lost more actually but i CAN eat!!

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Re: What Triggered Your ED?? - May 2nd 2010, 06:45 AM

I can't remember exactly, but from the time I was 14 I had issues with food and went on multiple diets, although I didn't develop an ED until I was 17 or 18.


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