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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Clouds. Offline
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Exclamation Does my friend need help? [may be triggering] - May 2nd 2010, 01:06 AM

Hey,
So... I'm in my second year of uni at the moment and last year I was living in student halls with some friends. Nearing the end of last year me and my friend started noticing that our other close friend wasn't eating as much, especially for tea just soup and sandwiches usually. But she was ill for about a week so we just thought she mustve lost her appetite because of feeling sick or something, so we thought nothing of it and we all went back home for summer holidays.

This year we're all living in a house together so we see what each other is eating more and we noticed that we never saw her eat lunch & for tea most nights she'd have a soup and bread most nights & never ate snacks & kept any chocolate for months and months at a time.

We started questioning why she wasnt eating anything & she'd either claim she was having a "big lunch" (we didnt see her at uni in the day) or that she wasnt hungry & she said she was fine and didnt have a problem.

However, we were really worried about her still so one night when she was out (we know how bad this sounds but we were reallly worried, we feel so bad for looking around & stuff) we went into her room with the spare key looking for any evidence of an eating disorder.

We found a book in a drawer she'd been keeping for a year with a rules page saying she could only eat a certain amount of cals a day, per meal, snacks once a week or less, replace food with water where possible etc... & every day since last April she'd recorded calories, exercise done, sit ups done, written herself comments about either how gross/ thin she felt some days, ticks where shed had water instead of food, how much she weighs at the top right and smiley faces when she lost weight (she now [Edited by Jen--removing weight figures] & is too little for her height)

Shes still not eating much either & seems to be eating just in front of us on purpose so we think shes eating cuz she knows we're worried about her because we say how thin she now looks etc...

This has gotta be some sort of eating disorder hasnt it?? We dont know what to do because she cant know we found the book or shell know we went snooping around her room! What can we do to help if she doesnt even admit she has a problem??

Help please.
I know this has been long sorry!


x<3x

~Happy to help *

Last edited by Jen; May 3rd 2010 at 01:07 AM. Reason: Please don't post weight figures; they're against the ToS
   
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Re: Does my friend need help? [may be triggering] - May 2nd 2010, 05:04 AM

Yes i would say she definately has a problem, and right now she does need to trust you so maybe she will open up to you, i know what you did is wrong, but i would have done it to. Maybe dont tell her, but you do need a way to somehow catch her in the act. Maybe if shes in her room go up and knock or something, you may think shes been exercising or notice the book and just say "hey this is cool" or something that may allow you to bring it up. You could just confront her also.
   
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Re: Does my friend need help? [may be triggering] - May 2nd 2010, 11:15 PM

Hey,
Thanks for the advice.
We thought about doing that, kinda going into her room when shes in there and catching her writing and confronting her, but we don't know when she does write in it and we would never be able to pretent to "accidently" find it in her room because she's obv quite secretive about it & so we'd have to go in her drawer for some reason so "find" it in front of her.
So not sure what to do! Defo can't tell her we found it though, because we shouldn't have been looking in her room for stuff in the first place.
Guess we'll just keep an eye on her. It's just next year she's living with some other friends so we won't be able to monitor her soon! x


x<3x

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