Triggering (ED): Parents not letting me go...(rant'ish)

[Reflections]

Alright, not sure if this goes here, but I think it does because it revolves around my Ed they think I ahve...

they see me eat, and eat, and eat, and eat... But never see me purge, so they think I am a binge eater and try exercising to burn it all,... Which is half true, but not all... I starve myself to the point where I need to eat... When I do eat sadly I relapse and eat everything... Only sometimes am I able to purge though... I have thought of suicide, acted 7 times in the past, not all because of this, but majourly because of this....

Anyways, my soon to be step-dad threatened to bring up my ED to my therapist next time we see him... I panicked, then relized they don't know everything. So my therapist may care and explore this, but likely will ignore it like ever other therapist, psychiatrist, counselor, nurse, doctor has...

Anyways...

My sister was going to Ontario for the summer for a month, now decides she doesn't want to. They offered to pay for her... I asked if I could take her ticket and go see all my good friends and get away for some of my own time, step dad immediatly said no... I asked why... "Your not stable enough"... Ya.. Just like that, I asked what the hell he meant. He then went on and on, about how he doesn't think going to Ontario is a good idea because; I have a ED that they think they know all about, I have depression, and because I want to go to get away for a bit...

That doesn't sound fair AT ALL. Last year when we all went I was WAY MORE triggered then I have been almost all year(except for last night) and now he's saying no. My sister has depression to, and has told me a couple things that mom and him don't know, yet she is allowed? I don't get it... I know it's favourtism and I've almost had it...I am have tempted to beg my grandmother to buy my ticket because I can't stay here all summer... I want to go, sure I probably won't eat anything, and when I do purge it, but let's think about this logically... Not eat and binge/purge here, not eat and binge/purge there... Hmm... Either way, no one can do anything, I'm not going to behave there or here. So honestly, what the hell? I am more likely to cut/attempt here, then there ,because there I have friends who would be there for me in a heart beat, where here my friends here would take a day for them to ask, and find a way to get wheere I live because I live in the middle of nowhere... I don't know, I think it would be good for me to go to Ontario for a month or so to get away and have a good time and enjoy being alive. Instead of living at home counting the days Im' alive... tats just my opinion... What are your thoughts?