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i let myself slip - May 15th 2010, 05:51 AM

i just dont know anymore, i cfant controll anything or help anyone anymore its like everything in my life is fallling apart right now and i dont know how to cope i havnt been eating alot for 2 days like i have had 1 meal and i dont wantto eat i want to block it al out show myself that i can do it i can lose the wieght i can be beautiful i can be someone who makes people jelouse as they walk by i just dont know how and i hate to think that waybnut i want to love myself i want someone to care i want i want i want why do i want so much im so selfish and i need to start think ing about everyonearound me but i dont knoow how and why and im always the adult in the situation im always theo ne who takes care of people why cant anyone take care of me? where else do i fit besides babysitter or listener i dont fit anywhere i cant do anything right i hate myseld my mom thinks i dont love her i cant even speak my mind to anyone i tell myseld i can but when its time to say it i cant and i wish i could but i cant i dont wantt to feel alone i dont want to hate myself i dont want anything i just want to sit in a whole for a long time and just sleep so that i can dream forever and not have to worry anbbot anyone or anything besides myself and i can dream about people who care about me and want me and love me i dont need anyone i can do it on my own i can i dont need help i have this i got it down all i need is myseld that is it me

im sorry this is just a rant i dont know what to do anymore
   
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Re: i let myself slip - May 17th 2010, 05:03 AM

everyone is beautiful to someone. i bet when you do walk down the street, you do make people jealous. because people arnt always happy with themselves all the time. sometimes people want different colored hair, or different colored eyes, or just different anything. you never know what they are thinking about you. you never know that yeah when you walk down the street and someone looks at you and they take you in with theyre eyes. what they could possbily be thinking. if you dont feel like no one cares then go out and find someone that does. make a new friend. i know what that feel like to want to sit in hole and just sleep so that nothing can go wrong. but nothing will happen if you do that.


" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "

i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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