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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Stuckinhell Offline
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Need Help, but how? - February 11th 2009, 09:33 PM

So this may be a bit long. But i'll really appreciate any advice. So firstly, I need help. Or i think i do. Maybe it's just my imagination. Maybe i'm fine. But i'm slipping back down. And i cant seem to stop myself.

I started 6 years ago. Just focusing on my weight. Dieting, no breakfast, liquid lunhc, then dinner. But wasnt too bad. I was underweight, but not by much, and stayed steady. Then whenever I binged probably 3x a week, i'd start to purge. This was rare at the time, but gradually got more and more common.

Now, i'd say in each month. i go one week fine, 1 weeks starving myself. 2week binge/purging. And it circles. My weight remains the same, but I feel like crap. I'm short-tempered, cant sleep. Fighting tears all the time. Everything I do focuses on weight. How I think, how i see myself. I know its warped. I weigh myself daily. Then not for a week or two. It goes round and round. But my perception never changes, my fear of weight never goes.

I've no one to really talk to. My mum is suspicious about my eating, but I cant talk to her about anything. She spends her life telling me i need to diet, then the next minute screaming at me for trying to gain attention by turnign down pudding. My friends have there own stuff to deal with, and wouldnt really understand. I'm too embarresed to talk to my doctor, and dont have a counciller anymore.

I've spoken to a councillor about it. But i just brushed it away. Saying it was just occasional, no big deal. She agreed. So maybe i'm fine. Maybe i'm making a big fuss out of it. I stay the same weight, it's just my perception of myself that scares me. That and my purging leads to bleeding, dizziness and spots in front of my eyes. I guess i need to talk to someone. But i dont know who.

Is there a number i can phone. Talk to someone, tell them my situation, see what they advice? Or an online conversation? Something confidential, where i can get proffesional advice. Someone to listen to me. I'm sorry this is so long, but I've been starving/purging for three weeks, and i feel myself slipping back into that state, and want to try and get help whilst i'm in the frame of mind to do so.


   
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Re: Need Help, but how? - February 11th 2009, 10:42 PM

First, I want to say congratulations for recognizing that you need help. That's a scary thing to say and it takes a lot of courage. You should definitely talk to your GP about wanting treatment. They will be able to find to you treatment and help you. It sounds to me like you need help. I wish you all the luck in the world. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. :]


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Re: Need Help, but how? - February 12th 2009, 07:44 AM

I've never got on with my G.P. Mainly because he's male, but also because he seems to look down on me. Probably just paranoia, but i cant talk to him over this.


   
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