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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Never Forget Hope
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Name: Kelly
Age: 29
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Nowhere Else to Turn - January 8th 2009, 01:47 AM

All my life I have grown up as the nobody, the nothing. And I hae always been the skinny one. Always underweight.

But...everyone says how people like thin girls. If that's true...then where are the guys? Where are my friends? I have nobody so I must not be thin enough.

That's how I think. And I feel ugly. My blog talks all about thinspiration and I'm not sure I want help right now. But I do want someone to know, so I posted it here. I just want someone to know that I do want to be perfect, lke they want me, and I am trying.

Feel free to tell me your thoughts, good or bad, on this. Just no bashing.
   
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Age: 29
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Re: Nowhere Else to Turn - January 8th 2009, 02:03 AM

You don't need to be thin to attract people, you just need to be yourself. In fact, lots of people aren't attracted to the malnourished look you'll get from an ED, because it's not healthy, looking good is being healthy.
You should talk to someone about this, since you did post this it shows that you're well aware it's a disorder and is thus most likely undesirable right? No matter how you feel about it right now it's almost guaranteed you'll regret giving into an ED later on, it can have permanent nasty effects on your body.
You're always welcome to post here, and you'll always receive support in battling your ED, you will, however, never receive support in your ED. I'm not sure if that's what you wanted but it kind of sounded a bit like that near the end.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Never Forget Hope
I can't get enough
*********
 
escape_thereal_world's Avatar
 
Name: Kelly
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Charleston, SC

Posts: 3,097
Blog Entries: 98
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Nowhere Else to Turn - January 8th 2009, 02:27 AM

Oh, no. I wasn't wanting support in keeping it. I'd never ask for that...
I was just meaning..I guess I want someone to see how broken I am.
How much I want to be perfect...to be better than I am.
That I do actually care and what people say and do, do in fact, affect me.

And yes, I know it is a disorder and I know it is bad to have.
I think I can beat it on my own, but I don't have the strength to do so right now.
I'm not ready to accept who I am yet...
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Music Offline
Thoroughly medicated
I've been here a while
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Name: Richard
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Location: Alberta, Canada

Posts: 1,575
Blog Entries: 12
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Nowhere Else to Turn - January 8th 2009, 02:38 AM

Even if you're not ready to start fighting back against your ED, there's a point where you just have to. You don't need to do it alone, you can ask for help, most people need help to get through something as serious as an ED. Have you thought of asking a counselor or a teacher, or even a parent? You can go to your doctor even and they'll know how to help you out with this. The sooner you start getting help the easier it will be, this isn't saying it will be easy, but generally the longer you have an ED the harder it is to get out of it and prevent relapses.
Perfection is just being yourself, that's as perfect as anyone can get. Just be how you want to be and live your life how you want to live it. It's normal for the things other people say to affect you in a negative way, but you need to find a way to fight that in your mind, you need to build an inner conversation in your mind, yah so-and-so might say this about me, but why does it matter what he says, or maybe he meant it in a good way? Things like that. Some of us are more sensitive to the environment around us, and what we need to do is be able to argue with those bad thoughts and nullify them, or even turn them around.

I strongly urge you to see a counselor or other adult you trust though, I think it would help you a lot and give you that extra boost of strength that you need to be able to win your battle against your ED.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Never Forget Hope
I can't get enough
*********
 
escape_thereal_world's Avatar
 
Name: Kelly
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Charleston, SC

Posts: 3,097
Blog Entries: 98
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Nowhere Else to Turn - January 8th 2009, 03:14 AM

Well, I see my counselor some time next week...I could try and talk to her about it.
I really do what to get better and just accept myself.
I guess I'm just scared to do so.

Thank you for replying.
   
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