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Geb12596 Offline
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Name: Grace
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Question Am I the only one that didn't know? - July 23rd 2010, 03:54 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So hi I'm Grace and I'm sorry if this is a lil long....

So when I was little my older brother's girlfriend had an ED and SH. So from the time I was 5 to the time I was 9 or 10 we would drive hours to visit her in the hospital. So anyways that's my background.

So on Monday I had a hard time getting myself to eat and then ended up purging for the first time. My mom found out and the next morning she yelled at me. She said that she didn't need me to be another Rachel (name changed) because I already have a history with sh. And the whole day she watched me like a hawk. And told me not to just "borrow" food.

Well that was yesterday and today ivtaljed to my best friend about it and he said that he had been worrying about me eating too. Because he was there when I had a really bad break up a few months ago and stopped eating. Well anyway he was like that's why I always shove food down your throat at school and go to the bathroom with you to make sure you keep it down.

Well anyway a bunch of people have come forward saying they suspected it. But I have two questions; 1. How could everyone else know and not me?
And 2. What do I do from here because it physically hurts me to eat and I already have therapy.
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Re: Am I the only one that didn't know? - July 23rd 2010, 11:24 AM

Hey there.

Firstly, either people just think they knew but wern't actually. Or maybe they did know and you didn't because you might have been in denial. Im not saying you were for sure, but alot of people with ED's find themself in that place. I know for just under a year, no matter how many people questioned my eating and how they thought i had one, i always denied it. I dont know why, i just couldn't see it the way they did. And sometimes i wonder if it was because my sister had an ED so it was meant to be her with it not me. Try not to get to hooked up on the thought that everyone else knew but you.

Where you go from here? If you think you do struggle with eating and think you may have an ED, its time to talk about it to your therapist. She may just help you with it or she may refer you to someone who specalizes in Eating Disorders. There are people out there who can help you if you let them in.

Just try your best and keep your chin up.

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Geb12596 Offline
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Name: Grace
Gender: Female
Location: Ma

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Re: Am I the only one that didn't know? - July 24th 2010, 03:07 AM

Thanks, I'll definatly talk to her about it.
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