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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Bibliophile Offline
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OBSESSED with food. - August 17th 2010, 11:55 AM

Where to start? I have an eating disorder. It's gradually been getting worse over the past few years, and now it's got to a level where I just don't know what to do. I'm having a particularly bad day today.

Basically I'm obsessed with food. Cooking, baking, counting calories. Everything about food. There's specific food groups I won't even consider eating. At the moment I'm only eating on specific days (one day of eating, one day of not eating) and so on, sometimes I go longer, and sometimes I go days of binging. I weigh myself every night, and if I haven't lost enough I'll torture myself through either not eating, overexercising, binging or self harm. I can't stop thinking about food. Even on days I'm eating, I won't go over a specific number of calories. I'm terrified of putting on weight, and of my doctor weighing me. It seems like the only thing I can control, because nobody can force me to eat. It's just getting worse. I don't get hungry any more, the thought of eating meals like I use to makes me feel physically sick. I'm scared of touching some foods, like butter and sugar, anything I don't think of as a safe food... I feel disgusting, and the only way to rid myself of this feeling is to strip it from me.

It's just getting worse, and I don't know how to help myself. I'm already seeing a counsellor and doctor, and they know quite a lot...Just nothing seems to help. How do I STOP obsessing over food constantly?

Last edited by Casey.; August 19th 2010 at 03:53 AM. Reason: Removing trigger tag to fit with the guidelines.
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Re: OBSESSED with food. - August 19th 2010, 04:01 AM

I wish I had answers, I really do. I have some suggestions that might help, but nothing that will make it stop completely. You need to try distracting yourself. Focus on school, friends, activities, etc. When you start to count calories, try to do something else. Like, try colouring. Anything to keep your mind away from it. Also try scheduling meals, and not skipping them, for certain times of the day. You don't have to eat large amounts, but you need to try to eat something. You are beautiful Marie. I can't make you see it, nor can I make you believe it, but I see it and all the rest of your friends do. You can fight this, but you don't have to it alone. Just hang in there love. <3

She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.

Smile through the tears.

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Re: OBSESSED with food. - August 21st 2010, 03:48 AM

I was like this about a month ago. I'm still recovering!
I actually was forced in a sense to start recovering as I got a physical and found out I lost XX pounds which put me into a dangerous underweight category. My mom now helps me out with encouraging me and stuff. Whenever I feel doubtful, my friends always say or do something small but I know as a guesture, whether it's offering me food or saying in a joking way that I need to gain weight.
So I think it really helps to have people there for you. Tell someone close to you about your problem and maybe go food shopping with them. Look for foods low in fat and with medium amounts of calories per serving. That way, you can eat until your full and still be thin while gaining weight, not fat. I suggest some of these foods; Reduced Fat (RF) Townhouse crackers, RF Cheez Its, Wonderbread smart white bread, low fat animal crackers, apple sauce, grapes, bananas, watermelon, fat free milk, Kix cereal, Froot Loops cereal, Smartfood popcorn, Pirates booty, regular popcorn, Campbells soup at hand. There's a lot of food out there that is good for you and will help you gain weight, not fat. Remember, there isn't just fat and skinny. My sister eats a lot of food (for the record, she does no sports and has no disease or fast metabolism) and I mean a lot, but she's still below the average weight for her age and looks great.
When in doubt, just steer away from sweets. Toast your bread if you can; the taste can be more appealing and about XX calories burn off.
After you eat, tell yourself that there is hardly any fat in that food. Tell yourself that the food will revive your muscles and make you look less like skin and bones and more like a skinny person. Don't weigh yourself ever night, do it once a week. Set a goal, maybe X pounds per two weeks. I know it's hard to be happy to see you've gained weight. But tell yourself that people don't like skin and bones and would rather see you thin.
You CAN do this. I know how you feel so much. I hope I've helped you and I hope you don't go beyond the point of no return. You're a beautiful person and weight will not change that. Now go out there and show the world that you can climb back over the harshest mountain and conquer.

Waiting for autumn...

Last edited by Gaia; August 21st 2010 at 03:06 PM. Reason: weight/calorie numbers are against the ToS
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