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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Name: Esther
Age: 26
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As I know I'm leaving... - August 29th 2010, 10:09 AM

So it's been a month since I finally decided to abandon recovery. I'm back into anorexia nervosa, my weight's drop again and I'm worse than any time before in these 4 years I've been into ED. The reason I will no longer try to come over it is it's already killed me; I mean, my heart will never be alright again, my kidneys are destroyed, my digestive system doesn't digest anymore and doctors told me it'll probably be chronic. I refuse to live like this.
Before I'm gone, I'd like to make my mum understand I'm sick, she thinks about eating disorder as a stupid mania I have, she was told by my therapist about EDs, but she doesn't admit I have one.
Do you have any idea to make her see the truth? I don't want her to think I killed myself, but I'm so sick.
I'd like to tell you to never give up on fighting against EDs, don't come up to this point Stay strong, please.


Fear Cuts Deeper Than Knives

"And if you told me 'go to the hell', I'd tell you I know pretty well that place"
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Open my eyes
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Name: Esther
Age: 26
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Re: As I know I'm leaving... - August 31st 2010, 06:49 PM

I'm thinking about taking these pills which lowers blood pressure, mine is already low so it can lead me to a heart attack. I'm so tired of being sick, I'm frankly giving up in this life. I though I could beat my ED, why is it so unfair? why do I have to notice I'm dying when I was doing my best?
It's making me so depressed, I haven't eaten in 3 days time, my parents are mad at me, my friends don't understand, I feel so lonely and desperate


Fear Cuts Deeper Than Knives

"And if you told me 'go to the hell', I'd tell you I know pretty well that place"
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Re: As I know I'm leaving... - September 2nd 2010, 08:35 PM

please don't take those pills. you don't deserve to die. i know how horrible eds can be. but you are beautiful and you don't deserve it
   
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Re: As I know I'm leaving... - September 3rd 2010, 11:39 AM

You've already put your mum through seeing you become extremely sick, please please don't put her through the pain of losing her daughter through suicide when you could at least try to turn your life around. Please don't take those pills. Try everything in your power to get over this. Be strong, if not for you, then for your mother. You can do this.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Open my eyes
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Name: Esther
Age: 26
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Location: Guadalajara, Spain

Posts: 170
Join Date: June 5th 2010

Re: As I know I'm leaving... - September 3rd 2010, 01:31 PM

I'm so upset and well, duh I decided not to take any pill, but I can't get rid of my ed, I guess I don't want to though :/


Fear Cuts Deeper Than Knives

"And if you told me 'go to the hell', I'd tell you I know pretty well that place"
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