SOS, advice, please

[sheissoweird]

I met my therapist yesterday after I decided I didn't want to recover, but I know I can't keep this way, it kills my parents to see me like this. Well, after she checked my weight, she told me if I was going to act like this, then I'd be sent to hospital. I'm terrified, my parents are, yet again, mad at me, and my mum told me I was just a problem. It hurt me so bad. Thing is, how is my therapist supposed to help me if everytime I get there she scares me away? I don't want to die, I don't want to lose my school year because of hospital, I don't want to gain weight, I don't want to eat (I know I have to) I don't want to disappoint my parents, I don't want to be here, paralysed because I don't know what to do because I fear of everything, I don't want to be a problem to anyone...
What the hell am I supposed to do? Therapist hasn't even given me a plan or anything to stick to, she keeps making me panic about hospital, and that doesn't help.
I'm so terrified that I can't think about anything at the moment, I need some advice, what to do for myself, please.

[Unicorn ♥✿]

All the hospital will do is help. It's really heartbreaking to hear yoou say 'I don't want to recover' , Trust me , it's so much better to try.

[Tank Girl]

It really does hurt when your own mother tells you that you are a problem or dissapointment. Instead of focusing on what your parents or therapists think, consider this: are you happy? Is your weight loss satisfying you, making you feel fulfilled? If it is, great! But I have a feeling that you are unhappy, and although you say you don't want to recover, I know that you do want to be happy, because that is a basic human need. First, ask yourself what will make you happy, and then do it. Perhaps this will mean ignoring your parents comments, and laughing at your therapist. It also may mean starting a new path; which could very well include recovery. It's a long road, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Good luck!

[sheissoweird]

I mean, I didn't want to recover but I went to see my therapist in order to come back to recovery so I want it now, but not in hospital, not there I ty to have 3 meals with 2 snacks, but even so it's still very low in calories, like less than half of a person daily required amount. thing is I can't eat more than this, otherwise it comes up right back, and that's even worse.
I don't know what to do, I'm all weak and dizzy all the time