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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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KateBroad Offline
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Exclamation In hiding .. - September 10th 2010, 03:13 PM

Hi, my name is Kate and I am 20 yo. I have been struggling with bulimia since I was about 13 yo.
I basically came to find this website because I feel like I am losing control and my purging is getting out of hand. I don't believe I have ever had a really serious case of bulimia, but right now, it is the worst it has ever been, and I am experiencing extremely low self confidence.
My condition had always been off and on. I used to binge and purge a lot from the ages of 13 to 15, and from 15 to 19 it was every now and then, even going months in between without binging and purging! I was exercising regularly and eating healthy! I believe I was happy ... but right now .. I don't really remember what that feels like.
So it's the start of my final semester at school, and I guess I'm feeling a lot of pressure. I can definitely say that I am eating my emotions ... and purging them. I honestly really want to stop! this isn't me! but I feel like I am trapped! I want help ... that is why I came here. I can not tell my mother, because she has had enough family problems to deal with! My brother suffers from manic depression and has been in and out of the hospital his whole life. It would completely break her heart to find out I've been struggling with this. I don't want to tell my boyfriend, who I live with ... I've told him before that I "HAD" bulimia and that it was something I struggled with when I was "young" and "immature" ... I don't know if he will understand.
Anyways I didn't go to class today and I have been binging all day!! and its started as soon as I woke up. It has been like this for the past couple days and I just cant take it anymore!! I don't know what to do .... I'm so embarrassed ....
   
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Mikey Offline
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Re: In hiding .. - September 11th 2010, 04:44 AM

Hey. (:
Firstly, please relax and calm down. You made a right choice with sharing your situation on this website for everyone here, including myself, is more than willing to help you through this.
It sounds like your going through an extremely tough and stressful time; trying to balance all your schoolwork and such. But you need to realize that sometimes we need to admit that we have to much on our plate and can't do it by ourselves.
Is there anyone you can talk to about this other than your mother and boyfriend? Like a trusted friend, teacher, school nurse.
It's important for you to have someone behind you to give you as much support and advice as you need.
Also, have you tried using the Alternative Thread for the Self-Harm Forum?
There are tons of distractions listen on that post the next time you feel a binge-and-purge cycle beginning.
Please feel free to PM me, anytime.
Hope all is well,
-Mikey.



You will come to realize that what appears today to be a sacrafice will prove instead to be the greatest investment you ever made.
   
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