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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Was anorexic, now FAT. - October 9th 2010, 02:54 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay so I admit when i was tiny i wasnt healthy. I barely ate and worked out too much. I lost basically all my hair, it fell out. I was constantly freezing and had to wear thick sweatshirts all the time. My life was kinda dumb. You could see my back bone vertabrae and it hurt to sit against chairs becuase I had nofat on my back.

The thing is, after tons of arguing with my mom and family, I realized screw the no eating! So i ate and ate. pizza. Cake. cookies. candy. doughnuts. Bagels. Sooooo much. And gained weight.

I feel sooooo fat now. I was living on next to nothing before and I had a flat stomach huge dimples in my face NOOOOO cellulite. I also lost my period. But yea. Idk. Im sick of feeling fat now. Like Im not the tiniest girl anymore. Im just like average. but my hairs coming back.

I want to lose a few pounds. But im scared if i do ill lose my hair again. What do I do? im now eating whatever I want, just tyring not to binge and drink water. I cut out exercise completely because it took my life over way too much and not worth it. Exercise and being skinny was a JOB to me then i dont want that kinda thing, but I wanna feel pretty and cute again.

Help me?

Last edited by Casey.; October 11th 2010 at 05:43 AM. Reason: Adding trigger tag
   
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Re: Was anorexic, now FAT. - October 9th 2010, 03:20 PM

Chances are, you are pretty and cute, you just don't feel it. And that's the problem here. I think you need to regulate what you eat, make sure it's not all junky fatty foods and consider being a little more active, but not obsessively exercise.

You could be at a normal weight and a normal body shape, but you're just not used to seeing that on yourself. That could just be your problem. Have you spoken to anyone about your previous eating disorder? Maybe it could help you to speak to someone. There should be a counselor at your school or college, and a doctor should be able to help you too.

If you just make sure you're at a healthy weight for your body type and keep yourself active, you should be okay. But you need to learn to love yourself again.

Take care.



   
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Re: Was anorexic, now FAT. - October 10th 2010, 02:19 PM

Hey there,

Firstly, I am going to say that when you struggle with anything ED related your perception of yourself is distorted. Now that you are eating you might feel less attractive and you might feel like you have gained too much weight but a lot of the time that is not the case.

I think the best way you can deal with those feelings is by seeking professional help. If you could get in with a therapist he/she could help you deal with the issues behind your struggles with weight. Once you deal with the causes of your struggles you will then notice a change in your perception of yourself. Your self esteem can start to rise and when that happens the feelings you have in regards to your body can change. Therapy can really help with this.

Also, a therapist might refer you to a nutritionist and that might help a lot because they can help you understand how nutrition works. A nutritionist can also get you on a meal plan that will work for your body. I know that at one point in time I went to a nutritionist and she helped me deal with my fears in regards to food and gaining weight and she put me on a meal plan that was specifically designed for me. So, going to a nutritionist, if possible, could really help you too.

I suggest you talk to your friends and family about your struggles and see if you can get their support as well. From what you have said it seems like they were aware of your struggles and wanted you to get better so if you could let them in now it might help. One of the greatest tools for fighting this is going to be the support and love you get from friends and family.

Lastly, I think it could help your self esteem if you made a list of good qualities you have. This list might start out with only one or two things but the more your self esteem grows the more it will grow. With this list I suggest you sticky your good qualities all around the room so whenever you are feeling low about yourself you will see those reasons. Doing this could really help quiet your unhealthy mind and strengthen your healthy.

I really hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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