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Don't know - October 12th 2010, 01:33 AM

I am still struggling with ED. He seems to be getting worse. I go to my therapist October 21 and I am going to talk to her about my concerns in regards to not being able to see her as regularly. I keep hoping that she will work with me somehow but it is looking like that isn't going to happen. Money is the bain of my existence at the moment...

I went in to talk to my school counselors but they haven't called me back. I will try calling them tomorrow and hopefully something will result. I get 6-8 free sessions and that might help a tad bit. I do worry that going to a new therapist I chance getting sent to the hospital or something but I need help and I have to do this.

I feel so tired all the time. I think it is a combination of the depression and my eating habits. I don't ever feel like doing anything. I have to call my psychiatrists office and ask for a doctors note for the classes I withdrew from but I don't feel like doing that. I need to call a place about support groups for my past but I just always feel too tired to do anything. Gah, I know what I need to do but my fatigue gets in the way. Not an excuse I know but it is like every time I tell myself I will do it my sadness and fatigue get in the way. I feel lazy because it is such a chore to wake up for my classes let alone make phone calls.

I haven't been eating much lately. Tonight I had a little more then usual, something a bit more substantial, and I feel sick. I don't know, whenever I eat I get a gross taste in my mouth and I just feel like puking. I know this sounds lame but the only things I can eat are sweets [licorices, chocolate, ice cream,etc] those things don't leave a disgusting taste in my mouth but, of course, I am not going to eat those.

Since I have started getting the icky taste in my mouth [started a couple months ago] I have tried brushing my teeth after meals, chewing gum, eating a small small serving of chocolate or some other candy but it does no good. I don't really know what is wrong with me. That taste makes me want to avoid food...

I don't want to have this ED. I don't want it to get any worse but I don't know what more I can do. I feel like I need to try harder but I don't know in what direction I need to go. I am working on my therapy concerns and hopefully that will be resolved by the beginning of the new year [if not sooner], I am going to look into that support group [just have to muster the strength to call], and I am going to call the school counseling office. Hopefully that will help. I just feel lost at times. I don't want to have this ED but I don't want to be fat. I have knowledge about nutrition but even when I tell myself ''this one meal isn't going to do damage'' I have trouble believing it. I feel so weak at the moment and I just don't know what to do...

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Re: Don't know - October 14th 2010, 05:36 AM


I wish I knew how to fix it for you, but I don't. However, I'm here if you need anything, yeah? Also, you might want to check and see if your county has a mental health department, usually they offer free services to those who can afford them. (If you live in the States). Hang in there. <3

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