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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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bumblebeebabe Offline
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From smallest to simply average or "chunky" - November 5th 2010, 05:21 PM

When I had my eating disorder - mainly anorexia although I would sometimes binge, maybe once a week and then work it off hardcore at the gym or in sports - I ate next to nothing. I worked out a few hours a day and was suuuuper thin. I was shopping in little girls clothing if I wanted to.... I felt suuuper HOT......although I couldnt have been too healthy becuase I lost all my hair because of the lack of balance in my diet.....

I now eat carbs, fats, sweets. I dont think of food 85% of my days or freak out if I gain weight.....BUUUUT i hate how i look. We cant post numbers so I wont say how much but I am now to the upper half of my healthy weight and I was a little underweight when I was suuper thin and anorexic.... I began to eat before I got much underweight...

I HATE not being thin though but I LOOOOOVE carbs and sweets soo its soooo HARDDDD. Anyone go from super thin to average? Howd you cope???!
   
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Re: From smallest to simply average or "chunky" - November 5th 2010, 08:49 PM

Gosh I can totally relate to how you feel. Apart from im still very much anorexic, and people tell me I look absolutely horribly sick...and to be honest, hearing that makes me want to change and be somewhat 'normal.' But in saying that, for the first time in a very long time I like how I look. And I kind of enjoy being able to eat anything, and not have to worry about gaining weight, because I can afford to gain it.
I really enjoy sweet things too! At school the other day they were selling ice creams...I had 2!!!! Now they were very fatty, so after that I felt rather sick but I loved them soooo much! So for lunch I had ice cream...lol!

Anyway, back to the topic, I watched a youtube video awhile ago, and it was about this very very slim beautiful girl, she developed anorexia and looked very very very very sick indeed, she then got better and showed a picture of her 'now' (or whenever she made the video) and she had gained a lot of weight, she weighed a hell of a lot more than prior to her ED. But still, I would have said she was average weight. She still looked beautiful.

If I had it my way I would want to keep things like this forever, but it is so not healthy my BMI is classed as emaciated and thats just gross! I used to be so fit and ran a half marathon, now I can't even do that Horrible Horrible illness I tell you!

Its great that you dont think about food al the time, and I am very much the same I also dont worry if I gain a little bit of weight, but its when I start to see it I will be a bit anxious!
I dont really know what advice to offer, just thought I would say that I totally know how you feel!
   
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Re: From smallest to simply average or "chunky" - November 7th 2010, 05:47 AM

Well, I was never underweight. But I have gone from one weight to another, most of us have. And it's trying at first. Gaining(or loosing even) weight is difficult and frustrating, because you feel like all your hard work is coming undone. And although your body maybe physically healing, your mind isn't there yet. You may see yourself as skinny, but gaining even a little makes you see yourself as fat, when really you are not. In reality, healthy is not skin and bones, as much as we might wish it was. Just because you gained weight does not mean you are not thin. It just means you are reaching a healthier point in your life, and that is a good thing. I don't know if this helps at all. Just hang in there.


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