Help with recovery?

[WingedWolf]

Hullo
First thing is I am clinically, medically confirmed as obese. Secondly I am suffering from anorexic behaviours with a tendancy to purge after eating anything. I've suffered with this previously and lost an awful lot of weight and got considerably ill.
I'm currently trying to recover with the help of some really good people and am on a healthy but low calorie diet, with my other half (who I live with) keeping track of my kcal. This is going to allow me to lose weight SAFELY and not freak out and flip into a compulsive emotional overeating or bulimic episode. Which is, y'know, important.
I am, as expected, finding this ridiculously hard and keep trying to convince people to let me eat far less, constantly fighting a desire to lie about how much I have eaten, whether or not I've purged, how many calories are in a given thing etc.

There's your background. What this thread was actually meant for was to try and help my other half. He's currently fighting the brunt of my ED with me, he's the person who stands between me and the bathroom door whilst I do everything from pleading with him to trying to fight and insult my way past him to get him to let me purge. He's the one helping me plan meals, coping with my desire to eat ridiculously bird like abmounts of food.

Any advice on how he could help me eat well, stay sane, not purge and suchlike or any advice to help HIM cope with what I'm certain is a horrific experience would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much, I knew I could count on you!

[emma01]

The thing with eating disorders, are that they are so strong and no one can fix it but you. I mean sure he can physically stop you purging and physically make you eat, but anyone with an eating disorder can eat and can not purge. I mean, if all of us with EDs never ate and purged always then we would all just die.
As ED's are mental illnesses, its more the feelings inside us when we eat, or purge that make it so horrible. And your partner [?] can't change those feelings unless you are whole-heartedly determined to recover. Its great he is supporting you, and stopping you from purging and getting you to eat, but the real problem is the thoughts behind it. I mean it is not 'normal' to feel the need to purge and to think of things like that. If you got some professional help, even inpatient treatment would be ideal as it would give him a break and also just puts his heart at rest for a little as he knows you are getting the help you need.

[WingedWolf]

Thanks for the reply Emma!
We've discussed inpatient, but he doesn't want me to leave until he's sure we can't beat this without it.

A thing I forgot to mention was that I have disassociative episodes, in which I present completely different personalities. This means that although I'M dedicated to recovery, some of my other personalities aren't, and can be incredibly unhelpful! I also find that I'm rational, strong and moving forward for much of my day, but I reach a point when I sort of 'flip out' and feel and behave just like I did when at the height of my ED.
Is this normal?

[Casey.]

Hey there,

I wouldn't exactly call it normal, but it's not abnormal for people with ED's to feel like there's another voice inside them. However, having different personalities can make recovery without professional help extremely hard and taxing for the both of you. Can you try getting help, it doesn't have to be inpatient, but just some professional help will do you both some good.

The thing is, he can't stop you or fix you. He can be one of the reasons that YOU decide to get better, but he can't make you better. If you want to diet, take it slowly. Very slowly, and try to do it with the help of a dietitian who knows about your past with EDs. I know it's hard not to give in, just hang in there.