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Stuckinhell Offline
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Panicking... what's going on in my head - November 27th 2010, 07:18 PM

I'm seeing myself slide backwords. All the work i'd put in over the last year seems so pointless now.

6 months in africa changed me. I stopped hating the way i looked, started to eat healthy amounts of food, no purging and by the end hardly even worrying. I realised how important food is.

But now. It's trashed. Since i've got back to england, started uni everyones gone wrong. Maybe because for once theres no one watching me eat. But i've suddenly got complete control. And yet. my eatings spiralling out of control. I'll go days without touching food. Then i'll pig out to the point that i'm feeling physically sick. And then i hate myself so much for losing the control, for eating the calories for making myself even fatter.

I just need help. I feel so bloody helpless right now.

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Re: Panicking... what's going on in my head - November 29th 2010, 12:20 AM

Something very similar is happening with me right now. i just keep reminding myself how happy i was when i'm healthy. there's nothing to hide from people. my mind is always screaming at me but i shut it up with my heart. you know in your heart how happy life truly is without counting and controling.
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