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Hopeful(?) Offline
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For People Who Have Recovered From ED - December 6th 2010, 11:37 PM

Hi all -

This is my first time using these forums. I was googling around for a while, just searching to see if I could find people like me, and I came across this website.

So, um.. I guess, first, here's my story:

I'm now a senior in high school. In 7th grade, I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and clinical depression. I have self-injured on and off, sometimes quite frequently, for 5 to 6 years now. Fall of freshmen year, I attempted suicide. I was planning another attempt fall of junior year, but ended up falling in love with someone, and they brought me out of that funk. I have also been an on-and-of bulimic during this time span as well.

Now, although I still suffer from mild depression, suicide doesn't cross my mind. I may not be as happy as all of my other friends, but I can deal with that. I don't see myself to be a danger to myself. What I'm struggling with now is my bulimia. Like I said, it has been on-and-off since 7th grade, but recently it's really picked up. I don't know why. Maybe it's just pressure from school, or whatnot. But whatever. Anyway -- I know I need help, but I don't want it. I really don't want people to feel scared or sad for me, or to change how they act around me. I don't want people to feel sad just because I'm struggling, ya know? I've always struggled with letting people in (I've only let one person completely in, in my entire life). I just really don't want them to feel sad just because I can't control my own issues. Basically, I don't want to burden them. I want them to be happy.

So I guess.. I have a question. For those of you who have gotten help, how did you do it? Who did you go to? How did you finally get the help you need? What went through your mind?

Because I'm getting tired of my issues. They're exhausting, both emotionally and physically.

...I just want to be happy...

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Re: For People Who Have Recovered From ED - December 8th 2010, 06:28 AM

The best way to get help is to talk to an adult you trust, like a coach, a parent, or even better, your school guidance counselor. It's really different for everyone, since everyone feels and thinks differently, I can't even remember what went through my mind back then. All I know is, it's a long difficult path, but you don't have to do it alone. Reaching out for help is a good start, a good first step forward, so give it a try. Even talking to a close friend about it can be helpful. I'm glad you want to get better, and proud of you for making that difficult decision. Hang in there, and feel free to pm me at any time.

She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

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Sometimes things just happen.

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Re: For People Who Have Recovered From ED - December 8th 2010, 07:14 PM

But I can never see myself actually going to them for help. I don't want them to feel bad just because I can't handle my own stuff. I don't want them to worry about me, or feel sad for or because of me.
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Re: For People Who Have Recovered From ED - December 9th 2010, 01:00 AM

Well i didnt want any help either but i was anorexic and struggling like you are with bulimia and i was under a lot of stress with school and friends my friends actually noticed my weight lose and my parents did too and then they involoved the school conselor and then my mom got me and eating disorder conszelor hich then progressed to a hospital based program to help me start eating again and manage my depression and anxiety whhich at the hospital it was weird the main reason i had my eating disorder was so i wouldnt ever be out of control or alone. But now that im out of high school i can say im not fully recovered but u never fully are mentally as therpist and phytrrist will tell you the easist way is talk to someone you trust a teacher a sibling someone that will help or get someone who can help u but not makeu feel stressed or unconfortable about it if you need anything let me know ive been thru bulimia and anoriea and i suffer from anxiety and depression and bi polar II

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Re: For People Who Have Recovered From ED - December 10th 2010, 09:05 PM

When my ED developed I was already in therapy. So the help was already there. But when I've had other issues, for example after I was discharged from out-patient and felt I still had some issues, I just asked my mum to book me an appointment at the GP (just say it's for period pains? Or something) and then I told my GP about the problems I'd been having and asked if she could refer me back to the clinic. I understand that it's worrying and that it's a very big step. But it'll probably be one of the best things you do.

The most important thing I learned while mentally recovering was that if I wanted people to think a certain way about me, I would have to change the way I thought about myself. As soon as I accepted who I was, other people began to too. Or at least, I stopped worrying so much about what people thought of me. I didn't care, because I liked me.

Hope this has helped, I've been recovered from Bulimia type Anorexia for about 9 months.

Take care x
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Smile Re: For People Who Have Recovered From ED - December 13th 2010, 11:14 PM

I don't know how I did it, but I did it on my own (which is what I wanted to do).

I haven't been bulimic in 2 days.. Which is very good, because I've been consistently at least once a day for months now.

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