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chika1235 Offline
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i really need help for my friend! (warning very long) - December 14th 2010, 09:00 PM

ok so i used to be belimic and now my friend kelsey is belimic and anorexic. she wont eat. (she told me last week she skipped 6 meals then the meals she ate she threw up) she wont eat breakfast or lunch at school even though i try to make her she always insists that she cant eat cause shell throw up because of it. the only thing that she does eat is baby food because its the only thing she can keep down.(then she throws it up later) i mean there is no food staying in her whatsoever!!! and she says shes been doing this since 8th grade! now i was only belimic because of my severe depression and im fully recovered. (the last time i threw anything up was the start of last summer) the reasons why i think shes belimic is
1.home life (her mom did hit her in the face once and always yells at her)
2. she says she wants to be pretty like me (im XXX and shes wayy skinnier than me)
3. she says she doesnt want to be fat again (shes never been fat!) the biggest shes ever weighed was XXX pds!
4. and finnally she says that she will be pretty if she is anorexic because she wants to be "the lovely bones" she thinks bones are pretty.
5. and she may still be in deppression because of the fact she cant get a guy and her dad died when she was little.

the things that i have done to help her is
-ive talked to my friend jessica and she said to talk to the guidance counseler at school because this cant go on much longer.we talked to the guidance counseler (well call her nancy) and nancy said that kels wouldnt open up to her (i later found out that she lied to the counseler and said this had been going on for a few weeks instead of since 8th grade). and when i saw her later that day she was passing me in the halls and she said, "i hate you". to me. her best frickin friend who only wants to help her! she thinks im only wanting to get her in trouble because "she had it under control" and she even tried to stop nancy from calling her mom.
well now kels hates me and after school when my boyfriend saw that she texted me saying that it was all my fault he went off on her. he yelled at her and i think just made things worse.
the problem is i dont know how to stop her from doing this to herself! she could die because of this! and with the christmas break coming up ill have no idea whether shes eating or not. i may just threaten to tell her mom everything if she wont eat. or i wont eat when she doesnt.idk i just dont know how to handle the situation because i know that she only thinks that shes gettn "prettier' when she doesnt eat.she doesnt want to stop and she wont admit that she has a problem. she hates me for telling and adult and im afraid theyll take her away from her mom if they find out about this.(she called child services on her mom when her mom hit her in the face)
idk she just really needs to get over this because its like shes a diffrent person. i can see bones and she isnt her usual energetic sarcastic self. shes just depressed all the time because she thinks shes fat and ugly.shes just so frickin self concsiouss!!!

does this look ugly to you because i think shes beautiful! (this isnt a recent pic)

Last edited by Pandamonium; December 15th 2010 at 03:17 PM.
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Re: i really need help for my friend! (warning very long) - December 15th 2010, 03:18 PM

Due to privacy concerns, the picture was removed from the thread. Please feel free to send me a message if you have any questions/concerns.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i really need help for my friend! (warning very long) - December 15th 2010, 06:49 PM

Anorexia is a sickness, and it can turn you against people you love because you fear they'll make you 'fatter'.
No one would have an ED if they didn't receive something from it, it could be 'safety', 'comfort' and such
You've gone through this, so you may noticed about what I said.
Thing is, she's the only one who can help herself, when she feels ready to. I know it can be frustrating, but you can do nothing if she's not willing to cooperate (I'm talking from the inside of EDNOS)
Of course, I'm not telling you to give up on her, never do so, but all you can do is support her, show her you'll be there no matter what because you care about her. Don't try to give her any advice since she won't listen to you and could turn (again) against you, remember that for her, anorexia is a 'safe zone'.
Remind her she's not only an ED, do this through talking about anything which is not related to appearance like boys, fashion... but always ask her how she's feeling. At some point, she'll trust you enough to admit she's got a problem, and that's the first steep to recover. I know it can kill people around her to see her dying inside and eventually (if not stopped) outside, but you aren't a therapist so trying to help her when you don't really know what to do can make you lose your mind with hers, only professionals can provide advices.
Also, you can't ask her to eat more and then say you need to go on a diet, or say you're fat etc. because it will make her think you want her to get super fat.
I'm sorry I can't help you, but sometimes all oneself can do is waiting for the sick person to want help, if she doesn't, all your help goes nowhere.
All the best xx

Fear Cuts Deeper Than Knives

"And if you told me 'go to the hell', I'd tell you I know pretty well that place"
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